Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Little Blue Pill

My doctor and I made the decision today for me to go back on Zoloft.

I am 24 weeks along.  It's been 20 weeks since that fateful "I'm bored" positive pregnancy test.  So about 16 weeks since I last took one of the little blue pills that had been doing so much to help me stay patient - and present - with my family.

The past 16 weeks have brought a lot of change.  With change comes a lot of stress.  And I haven't dealt particularly well with any of it.  I have been snappy and anxious.  My cuticles are visual proof of my inability to sit still or really enjoy anything as much as I want to.

While the stress of finding out we were pregnant, switching jobs, moving, and working from home are starting to ease, I am facing a busy holiday season, a certain almost four-year-old's birthday party in January (with new friends whose mothers I have yet to meet), and the birth of this newest family member in March.  And I just don't think I can continue to live in this anxious, irritable state for 16 more weeks.  Let alone the inevitable six weeks of baby blues following the arrival of 3.0.  Let alone the sheer stress of breastfeeding the new guy, while mothering my other two still very young children the way they deserve.

My doctor readily agreed.  My cuticles immediately rejoiced.  And a happy mommy is a healthy mommy.  So here's to the little blue pill residing once again in my medicine cabinet.