And then I remember that I'm thirsty and that humans need water to survive and there's a water cooler some thirty feet from my desk and I pay $5 a month to drink that water. So get off your butt and drink some water, Caitlin! So I have some water and slowly start to feel better again. This happens all the time. As soon as I drink a little water, all the dark thoughts of despair ease and I am once again able to see some brightness.
Except this week. I am actually hydrated, sipping water regularly from the free water bottles leftover from a few catered meetings. It's like a mecca of bottled water here at work, and I am savoring this brief oasis. So I'm pretty well hydrated.
And yet... I can't keep the ugly thoughts from crowding in. I'm feeling inadequate in so many ways. Inadequate as a mother (I snap too much and enjoy to little), as a wife (I focus on every nit-picky detail without appreciating the whole), as a coworker (I just can't focus).
I don't know if it's the dreary never-see-the-sun weather, anxiety over the upcoming holidays (nearly every weekend with my in-laws...), or this endless mind-numbingly boring project at work... but I need to snap out of it. My heart needs some rehydrating.
Pouring my heart out.
