Friday, March 28, 2014

Big Boy Bed

I blame myself, as I foolishly had the bed from Gavin's room moved into the nursery so I could more easily get in and out of bed to feed Paul, with the c-section recovery.  We didn't think Gavin would care, since he's been so happy staying in the crib.  But I suppose having your mom and dad gone for four nights, then bringing home the new baby and taking his bed was just too much.

It's hard becoming a big brother!  This new kid suddenly appearing on mom's lap, crying at all hours of the day and night, with fun looking bouncy contraptions that big brothers aren't allowed to sit in...  Gavin has taken his new role of big brother in stride, always hugging and kissing "Baby," patting his head and bringing him toys to play with.  (And as sweet as it all is, omg terrifying!  Those hugs are one well-meaning step away from smothering!  This is all incredibly supervised!)

But as sweetly as Gavin is toward his brother, I did expect some less positive behavior changes.  With Laura, it's been a quickness to tears.  With Gavin, it's been a literal fear of bedtime.  Vaulting himself out of the crib, landing on his head (of course), and running screaming into the hall.

Night lights haven't worked.  Neither has music, blankies, stuffed animals, or anything besides a grown-up sitting right next to him in bed.  

In a big boy bed, that is.  The crib jumping was just too dangerous.  A big boy bed for my sweet big brother... A little sooner than I feel like he's really ready, but what can you do??  My in-laws brought a toddler bed for Gavin to use, so we set that up in his room.  But the next problem has been the fear of being alone.

We tried staying with him till he fell asleep.  But he would pop up like a daisy as soon as we thought he was alseep.  We tried moving him into Laura's room.  But he just kept both of them awake.  Laura was so patient, but so upset!  

After nights of screaming and crying and running into the hall at 3am, we needed a new strategy.  We asked Gavin if he'd like his twin bed back.  He nodded yes.  Did he want it in his room? No.  He wanted to sleep in his bed... In Paul's room.  Would that mean sleep for everyone else??  Fine.

However, we did also decide to put a lock on Gavin's new room's door... A tip I had read and filed away ages ago.  But putting it into practice was much harder emotionally than I thought it would be!  My poor, scared little boy locked into his room??  But our desire to not hold a door closed, sitting in the hall all night won out.

It's been three nights with Gavin in a twin bed locked in the nursery.  He has cried at the door for a few minutes each night, then tucked himself back into bed.  He has woken crying and trying the door each night between 1 and 3, but he ended up sleeping in the bed.  I am glad he's locked in the room during the wee hour wake-ups, as I am terrified he would fall down the stairs in his tantrum.  But it's heartbreaking all the same, knowing he's in his room afraid of something he can't quite verbalize.

On the other hand, he is super cute all snuggled into his big bed!