10 Weeks

Can you believe it's already been ten whole weeks? I sure can't. If the whole pregnancy moves as fast as the first part has, I will blink and suddenly have a baby in my arms.

I had been feeling pretty good the whole time. Constant queasiness, yes, but nothing a few crackers couldn't cure. Then yesterday morning came, and I seriously thought I would puke. For the first time. The only thing holding me back, really, was the fact that my in-laws toilets are really gross and I didn't want to be kneeling in front of one! Gross. And now today, the nausea is paired with dizziness. Am I just so tired that I can't hold my head up or focus my eyes? Or has this baby decided to truly kick my butt?

I did not sleep very well last night, either. I'm sure that doesn't help matters. I was lying in bed, going through my nightly routine of trying to get myself to sleep (a routine I've been doing since toddlerhood - I'm a terrible sleeper). All of a sudden, I was gripped by a panic that I will lose the baby. I'm almost through the first trimester, almost to the good, "safe" period. But somehow I couldn't stop thinking about how I would lose this precious little baby. I've been having nightmares lately about blood, and waking up covered in blood. But even with the nightmares, I haven't really been panicked about losing my baby. Until last night. It's a wonder I slept at all.

We have our second OB appointment on Wednesday, and I hope to be relieved by any sign of baby growth and life that the doctor can give me. I can't wait to be done with this first trimester. I'd much rather panic over other things. Like daycare.