So I think I had food poisoning yesterday. It was awful. I can't remember the last time I threw up, but it was probably from being hungover, so definitely like a year and a half ago at least! So it's been even longer than that since I last threw up from being plain old sick.
No, I didn't have much morning sickness.
Yes, you can hate me.
So yesterday as I'm puking on the commuter train (in the scuzzy bathroom which I have never been so thankful for), my first thought was that I was getting my first post-partum period. I've had some killer periods in my life, so that could be it.
But then, at home, I was feeling even worse. I called my ob/gyn to see if the first post-partum period was anything particularly brutal. Their advice? Take a pregnancy test.
I did NOT do that. For one, I'm on birth control. And while accidents can happen, let's be realistic. For another, the thought of braving the heat and carrying a 5 month old to CVS for a pregnancy test made me want to hurl. More.
At 10pm, having had nothing to eat or drink in 8 hours, I threw up my entire insides. It was horrifying. And scary. And awful. But then, all of a sudden, I felt better!
I continued to not eat or drink anything, and went to bed. Twelve hours later, I'm still afraid to eat and have only had a few sips of gatorade. And while I'm feeling just about fine, there's no way I'm going out, in the heat, to ride a train to get to work today. Not happening. So I'm enjoying a quiet day at home while Laura is at day care.
We're paying for the day, right? I might as well enjoy some time off!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Ugh
So I think I had food poisoning yesterday. It was awful. I can't remember the last time I threw up, but it was probably from being hungover, so definitely like a year and a half ago at least! So it's been even longer than that since I last threw up from being plain old sick.
No, I didn't have much morning sickness.
Yes, you can hate me.
So yesterday as I'm puking on the commuter train (in the scuzzy bathroom which I have never been so thankful for), my first thought was that I was getting my first post-partum period. I've had some killer periods in my life, so that could be it.
But then, at home, I was feeling even worse. I called my ob/gyn to see if the first post-partum period was anything particularly brutal. Their advice? Take a pregnancy test.
I did NOT do that. For one, I'm on birth control. And while accidents can happen, let's be realistic. For another, the thought of braving the heat and carrying a 5 month old to CVS for a pregnancy test made me want to hurl. More.
At 10pm, having had nothing to eat or drink in 8 hours, I threw up my entire insides. It was horrifying. And scary. And awful. But then, all of a sudden, I felt better!
I continued to not eat or drink anything, and went to bed. Twelve hours later, I'm still afraid to eat and have only had a few sips of gatorade. And while I'm feeling just about fine, there's no way I'm going out, in the heat, to ride a train to get to work today. Not happening. So I'm enjoying a quiet day at home while Laura is at day care.
We're paying for the day, right? I might as well enjoy some time off!
No, I didn't have much morning sickness.
Yes, you can hate me.
So yesterday as I'm puking on the commuter train (in the scuzzy bathroom which I have never been so thankful for), my first thought was that I was getting my first post-partum period. I've had some killer periods in my life, so that could be it.
But then, at home, I was feeling even worse. I called my ob/gyn to see if the first post-partum period was anything particularly brutal. Their advice? Take a pregnancy test.
I did NOT do that. For one, I'm on birth control. And while accidents can happen, let's be realistic. For another, the thought of braving the heat and carrying a 5 month old to CVS for a pregnancy test made me want to hurl. More.
At 10pm, having had nothing to eat or drink in 8 hours, I threw up my entire insides. It was horrifying. And scary. And awful. But then, all of a sudden, I felt better!
I continued to not eat or drink anything, and went to bed. Twelve hours later, I'm still afraid to eat and have only had a few sips of gatorade. And while I'm feeling just about fine, there's no way I'm going out, in the heat, to ride a train to get to work today. Not happening. So I'm enjoying a quiet day at home while Laura is at day care.
We're paying for the day, right? I might as well enjoy some time off!
Monday, June 28, 2010
A quick note
I have no inspiration for blogging. So I leave you with this pearl of wisdom.
Do not eat starbursts for breakfast. They are not a substitute for a bagel, a donut, a bowl of cereal...
Do not eat starbursts for breakfast. They are not a substitute for a bagel, a donut, a bowl of cereal...
A quick note
I have no inspiration for blogging. So I leave you with this pearl of wisdom.
Do not eat starbursts for breakfast. They are not a substitute for a bagel, a donut, a bowl of cereal...
Do not eat starbursts for breakfast. They are not a substitute for a bagel, a donut, a bowl of cereal...
Friday, June 25, 2010
A wish for my daughter
I was silently judging fellow commuters as I walked to my train the other day. I do this often. Who doesn’t? (Or maybe I’m alone in this, and really mean).
OMG what is he wearing?
Ew, get a haircut!
Then I saw cute girl in a cute outfit. Her hair and make-up were very nicely put together. She was laughing with her friend. And what did I think?
Well, she’s pretty cute. But she knows it. Ugh.
But it immediately occurred to me, why is it so bad for a cute girl to be confident in how she looks and carries herself?
All of us out there who silently judge. Who only look at a person’s appearance. Who sneer at older fashions. We are the ones who allow the epidemic of low self-esteem to abound. Why should anyone care who wears what? Isn’t the most important thing being comfortable in who we are? God forbid someone is actually happy with their appearance!
It has become abundantly clear in recent weeks that most of my insecurities as a mother stem from a long history of low self-esteem. My trouble creating lasting friendships? My lack of motivation? Depression? Anxiety? All the irrational fears? Low self-esteem.
If I have one wish for my daughter, it’s that she live her life in confidence. I will devote the rest of my life to showing Laura that she is a beautiful, smart and wonderful person. I want her to walk through life holding her head up high.
And so, with this in mind, I have decided to make an effort to stop judging people based on appearances alone. I will attempt to appreciate people for who they are on the inside, before passing judgment. People should be able to wear the clothes that make them comfortable. Who am I to judge?
OMG what is he wearing?
Ew, get a haircut!
Then I saw cute girl in a cute outfit. Her hair and make-up were very nicely put together. She was laughing with her friend. And what did I think?
Well, she’s pretty cute. But she knows it. Ugh.
But it immediately occurred to me, why is it so bad for a cute girl to be confident in how she looks and carries herself?
All of us out there who silently judge. Who only look at a person’s appearance. Who sneer at older fashions. We are the ones who allow the epidemic of low self-esteem to abound. Why should anyone care who wears what? Isn’t the most important thing being comfortable in who we are? God forbid someone is actually happy with their appearance!
It has become abundantly clear in recent weeks that most of my insecurities as a mother stem from a long history of low self-esteem. My trouble creating lasting friendships? My lack of motivation? Depression? Anxiety? All the irrational fears? Low self-esteem.
If I have one wish for my daughter, it’s that she live her life in confidence. I will devote the rest of my life to showing Laura that she is a beautiful, smart and wonderful person. I want her to walk through life holding her head up high.
And so, with this in mind, I have decided to make an effort to stop judging people based on appearances alone. I will attempt to appreciate people for who they are on the inside, before passing judgment. People should be able to wear the clothes that make them comfortable. Who am I to judge?
A wish for my daughter
I was silently judging fellow commuters as I walked to my train the other day. I do this often. Who doesn’t? (Or maybe I’m alone in this, and really mean).
OMG what is he wearing?
Ew, get a haircut!
Then I saw cute girl in a cute outfit. Her hair and make-up were very nicely put together. She was laughing with her friend. And what did I think?
Well, she’s pretty cute. But she knows it. Ugh.
But it immediately occurred to me, why is it so bad for a cute girl to be confident in how she looks and carries herself?
All of us out there who silently judge. Who only look at a person’s appearance. Who sneer at older fashions. We are the ones who allow the epidemic of low self-esteem to abound. Why should anyone care who wears what? Isn’t the most important thing being comfortable in who we are? God forbid someone is actually happy with their appearance!
It has become abundantly clear in recent weeks that most of my insecurities as a mother stem from a long history of low self-esteem. My trouble creating lasting friendships? My lack of motivation? Depression? Anxiety? All the irrational fears? Low self-esteem.
If I have one wish for my daughter, it’s that she live her life in confidence. I will devote the rest of my life to showing Laura that she is a beautiful, smart and wonderful person. I want her to walk through life holding her head up high.
And so, with this in mind, I have decided to make an effort to stop judging people based on appearances alone. I will attempt to appreciate people for who they are on the inside, before passing judgment. People should be able to wear the clothes that make them comfortable. Who am I to judge?
OMG what is he wearing?
Ew, get a haircut!
Then I saw cute girl in a cute outfit. Her hair and make-up were very nicely put together. She was laughing with her friend. And what did I think?
Well, she’s pretty cute. But she knows it. Ugh.
But it immediately occurred to me, why is it so bad for a cute girl to be confident in how she looks and carries herself?
All of us out there who silently judge. Who only look at a person’s appearance. Who sneer at older fashions. We are the ones who allow the epidemic of low self-esteem to abound. Why should anyone care who wears what? Isn’t the most important thing being comfortable in who we are? God forbid someone is actually happy with their appearance!
It has become abundantly clear in recent weeks that most of my insecurities as a mother stem from a long history of low self-esteem. My trouble creating lasting friendships? My lack of motivation? Depression? Anxiety? All the irrational fears? Low self-esteem.
If I have one wish for my daughter, it’s that she live her life in confidence. I will devote the rest of my life to showing Laura that she is a beautiful, smart and wonderful person. I want her to walk through life holding her head up high.
And so, with this in mind, I have decided to make an effort to stop judging people based on appearances alone. I will attempt to appreciate people for who they are on the inside, before passing judgment. People should be able to wear the clothes that make them comfortable. Who am I to judge?
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
So what's next?
I graduated college in 2004 with a bachelor’s degree in art history. I heard a lot of people ask What are you going to do with THAT? Well, I had a five year plan. A good one, which would be completed in six simple steps.
I knew my undergrad grades weren’t good enough to get into grad school. So I had to work for a bit so that my “experience” would qualify me for whatever grad school I decided to apply to. And to work, I had to work for free. Because who hires someone with just a bachelor’s degree? But I also knew that internships lead to contacts, which lead to inside information on job openings, which leads to getting a job. A paid job.
So I got an internship. And it led to a job. Step one: check!
And that job led to a better job. Step two: check!
And then I got married to my college sweetheart. Step three: check!
And then I got into the graduate school of my choice, due to my impressive resume. Step four: check!
And then I had a baby. Step six (yes, I know I skipped a step): check!
And then I earned my master’s degree! I finished my last class today! Step five (see above): CHECK!
So I have completed my five-year plan (in a mere six years). Now what? Seriously. What do I do next?! Time for a new five-year plan?
I knew my undergrad grades weren’t good enough to get into grad school. So I had to work for a bit so that my “experience” would qualify me for whatever grad school I decided to apply to. And to work, I had to work for free. Because who hires someone with just a bachelor’s degree? But I also knew that internships lead to contacts, which lead to inside information on job openings, which leads to getting a job. A paid job.
So I got an internship. And it led to a job. Step one: check!
And that job led to a better job. Step two: check!
And then I got married to my college sweetheart. Step three: check!
And then I got into the graduate school of my choice, due to my impressive resume. Step four: check!
And then I had a baby. Step six (yes, I know I skipped a step): check!
And then I earned my master’s degree! I finished my last class today! Step five (see above): CHECK!
So I have completed my five-year plan (in a mere six years). Now what? Seriously. What do I do next?! Time for a new five-year plan?
So what's next?
I graduated college in 2004 with a bachelor’s degree in art history. I heard a lot of people ask What are you going to do with THAT? Well, I had a five year plan. A good one, which would be completed in six simple steps.
I knew my undergrad grades weren’t good enough to get into grad school. So I had to work for a bit so that my “experience” would qualify me for whatever grad school I decided to apply to. And to work, I had to work for free. Because who hires someone with just a bachelor’s degree? But I also knew that internships lead to contacts, which lead to inside information on job openings, which leads to getting a job. A paid job.
So I got an internship. And it led to a job. Step one: check!
And that job led to a better job. Step two: check!
And then I got married to my college sweetheart. Step three: check!
And then I got into the graduate school of my choice, due to my impressive resume. Step four: check!
And then I had a baby. Step six (yes, I know I skipped a step): check!
And then I earned my master’s degree! I finished my last class today! Step five (see above): CHECK!
So I have completed my five-year plan (in a mere six years). Now what? Seriously. What do I do next?! Time for a new five-year plan?
I knew my undergrad grades weren’t good enough to get into grad school. So I had to work for a bit so that my “experience” would qualify me for whatever grad school I decided to apply to. And to work, I had to work for free. Because who hires someone with just a bachelor’s degree? But I also knew that internships lead to contacts, which lead to inside information on job openings, which leads to getting a job. A paid job.
So I got an internship. And it led to a job. Step one: check!
And that job led to a better job. Step two: check!
And then I got married to my college sweetheart. Step three: check!
And then I got into the graduate school of my choice, due to my impressive resume. Step four: check!
And then I had a baby. Step six (yes, I know I skipped a step): check!
And then I earned my master’s degree! I finished my last class today! Step five (see above): CHECK!
So I have completed my five-year plan (in a mere six years). Now what? Seriously. What do I do next?! Time for a new five-year plan?
True Blood: True That
Hubby and I were watching the latest episode of True Blood last night. This line really resonated with me:
Lafayette: Life ain't not having problems, Tara. It's about being able to deal with the ones you got.
That's right! I have problems. You have problems. Everyone has problems. But we all continue to live. And I'm going to live my life to the fullest.
Lafayette: Life ain't not having problems, Tara. It's about being able to deal with the ones you got.
That's right! I have problems. You have problems. Everyone has problems. But we all continue to live. And I'm going to live my life to the fullest.
Thank you, Alice Cooper
This is what I have running through my head right now:
School's out forever
School's out for summer
School's out with fever
School's out completely
Last class ever this afternoon! I will have officially completed my master's degree program of studies at 4:30pm. I am so ready for this. AAH! I can hardly contain my excitement!
School's out forever
School's out for summer
School's out with fever
School's out completely
Last class ever this afternoon! I will have officially completed my master's degree program of studies at 4:30pm. I am so ready for this. AAH! I can hardly contain my excitement!
True Blood: True That
Hubby and I were watching the latest episode of True Blood last night. This line really resonated with me:
Lafayette: Life ain't not having problems, Tara. It's about being able to deal with the ones you got.
That's right! I have problems. You have problems. Everyone has problems. But we all continue to live. And I'm going to live my life to the fullest.
Lafayette: Life ain't not having problems, Tara. It's about being able to deal with the ones you got.
That's right! I have problems. You have problems. Everyone has problems. But we all continue to live. And I'm going to live my life to the fullest.
Thank you, Alice Cooper
This is what I have running through my head right now:
School's out forever
School's out for summer
School's out with fever
School's out completely
Last class ever this afternoon! I will have officially completed my master's degree program of studies at 4:30pm. I am so ready for this. AAH! I can hardly contain my excitement!
School's out forever
School's out for summer
School's out with fever
School's out completely
Last class ever this afternoon! I will have officially completed my master's degree program of studies at 4:30pm. I am so ready for this. AAH! I can hardly contain my excitement!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
In all seriousness
I feel as though I have focused a lot on the negative aspects of my life lately. Especially here on this blog. I'm going through a lot, but what new mom isn't?! I'm going to make a concerted effort to focus on the positive here on out.
That said, I am mentally writing a blog post that will mean a lot to me. I'll get to it. Soon.
That said, I am mentally writing a blog post that will mean a lot to me. I'll get to it. Soon.
In all seriousness
I feel as though I have focused a lot on the negative aspects of my life lately. Especially here on this blog. I'm going through a lot, but what new mom isn't?! I'm going to make a concerted effort to focus on the positive here on out.
That said, I am mentally writing a blog post that will mean a lot to me. I'll get to it. Soon.
That said, I am mentally writing a blog post that will mean a lot to me. I'll get to it. Soon.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Happy Father's Day!
Hubby, you are the greatest husband and father I could ever imagine. Thank you, on behalf of Laura,
Hehe, this post was just interrupted by Hubby for some "grown-up" time.
I repeat. Best.Husband.Ever.
Hehe, this post was just interrupted by Hubby for some "grown-up" time.
I repeat. Best.Husband.Ever.
Happy Father's Day!
Hubby, you are the greatest husband and father I could ever imagine. Thank you, on behalf of Laura,
Hehe, this post was just interrupted by Hubby for some "grown-up" time.
I repeat. Best.Husband.Ever.
Hehe, this post was just interrupted by Hubby for some "grown-up" time.
I repeat. Best.Husband.Ever.
Friday, June 18, 2010
My Happy Birthday
And it was truly happy! Here's why:
1) On my actual birthday (Wednesday), Laura would only laugh for me. But she was laughing so hard! Laughter is contagious. Even when the laughter stems from the funny noise Mommy makes when she gets kicked in the throat. Totally worth it.
2) I came home to a bouquet of flowers last night! Hubby "doesn't believe" in buying flowers, so this was truly fantastic.
3) Hubby and I went on a date!
4) And we had stuff to talk about other than the baby! Real, adult, stimulating conversation!
5) We made out on the really sexy mercedes convertible that was in the parking lot (see above picture to get an idea). Haven't made out like that in years.
6) There were fireworks! Literally! Mid-kiss we looked up and saw roman candles exploding into the night. Fireworks are my most favoritest things in the whole wide world. Could it have been a better birthday?! No clue why there were fireworks over the harbor on a random Thursday night, but Hubby is taking credit.
My Happy Birthday
And it was truly happy! Here's why:
1) On my actual birthday (Wednesday), Laura would only laugh for me. But she was laughing so hard! Laughter is contagious. Even when the laughter stems from the funny noise Mommy makes when she gets kicked in the throat. Totally worth it.
2) I came home to a bouquet of flowers last night! Hubby "doesn't believe" in buying flowers, so this was truly fantastic.
3) Hubby and I went on a date!
4) And we had stuff to talk about other than the baby! Real, adult, stimulating conversation!
5) We made out on the really sexy mercedes convertible that was in the parking lot (see above picture to get an idea). Haven't made out like that in years.
6) There were fireworks! Literally! Mid-kiss we looked up and saw roman candles exploding into the night. Fireworks are my most favoritest things in the whole wide world. Could it have been a better birthday?! No clue why there were fireworks over the harbor on a random Thursday night, but Hubby is taking credit.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Just in case
Just in case I ever need a reminder of what great friends I have, and how much I am truly loved, all I need to do is look at my FB page from June 16, 2010.
FIFTY-EIGHT people sent their birthday wishes to me! 58! I am astounded by the outpouring of love!
FIFTY-EIGHT people sent their birthday wishes to me! 58! I am astounded by the outpouring of love!
Just in case
Just in case I ever need a reminder of what great friends I have, and how much I am truly loved, all I need to do is look at my FB page from June 16, 2010.
FIFTY-EIGHT people sent their birthday wishes to me! 58! I am astounded by the outpouring of love!
FIFTY-EIGHT people sent their birthday wishes to me! 58! I am astounded by the outpouring of love!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Cutie Pie
It's been forever since I shared a picture of my pumpkin with you. And she's just too cute to not share!
If you look really close at her bottom gum, you can see evidence of first teeth... Just one more reason I am happy to be bottle feeding.
If you look really close at her bottom gum, you can see evidence of first teeth... Just one more reason I am happy to be bottle feeding.
Happy Birthday To Me!
Another year older, and what a year it's been! I truly can't wait to see what this next year brings. Especially if it brings more smiles, giggles, and slept-through nights.
Cutie Pie
It's been forever since I shared a picture of my pumpkin with you. And she's just too cute to not share!
If you look really close at her bottom gum, you can see evidence of first teeth... Just one more reason I am happy to be bottle feeding.
If you look really close at her bottom gum, you can see evidence of first teeth... Just one more reason I am happy to be bottle feeding.
Happy Birthday To Me!
Another year older, and what a year it's been! I truly can't wait to see what this next year brings. Especially if it brings more smiles, giggles, and slept-through nights.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Happiness
Hi Friends,
I happened upon this blog this morning, and was really touched by Suzanne's theme this week. "Happiness Is."
When I was little, I'd visit my grandmother's house a few times a year. She had all sorts of crazy books from the 60's, and I loved to read them. One of them was a Peanuts book called "Happiness Is." I loved that little book, reading what each of Charlie Brown's friends felt made them happy. I especially loved "Happiness is naturally curling hair." Not that I have curly hair... but I've always wanted it!
So here are my two cents:
Happiness is...
*Waking up to sunny, cool summer mornings
*Snuggling Hubby in bed with soft, clean sheets
*Getting ready for work, with enough time to stop by Dunkin' for some iced coffee and a sprinkle donut
*Watching Laura in her crib as she sleeps. By morning, she's all curled up on her tummy like a little bug. Doesn't get cuter.
*Ok, maybe it does get cuter: watching Laura stretch as she slowly wakes up. Arms over her head, face scrunched up, toes flexed.
*Putting on a cute outfit and feeling confident all day.
*Getting a fantastic new haircut. (Maybe that one was from two weeks ago, but I'm still feeling great about this cut!)
Happiness is... appreciating the little things in life that make everything else worthwhile.
I happened upon this blog this morning, and was really touched by Suzanne's theme this week. "Happiness Is."
When I was little, I'd visit my grandmother's house a few times a year. She had all sorts of crazy books from the 60's, and I loved to read them. One of them was a Peanuts book called "Happiness Is." I loved that little book, reading what each of Charlie Brown's friends felt made them happy. I especially loved "Happiness is naturally curling hair." Not that I have curly hair... but I've always wanted it!
So here are my two cents:
Happiness is...
*Waking up to sunny, cool summer mornings
*Snuggling Hubby in bed with soft, clean sheets
*Getting ready for work, with enough time to stop by Dunkin' for some iced coffee and a sprinkle donut
*Watching Laura in her crib as she sleeps. By morning, she's all curled up on her tummy like a little bug. Doesn't get cuter.
*Ok, maybe it does get cuter: watching Laura stretch as she slowly wakes up. Arms over her head, face scrunched up, toes flexed.
*Putting on a cute outfit and feeling confident all day.
*Getting a fantastic new haircut. (Maybe that one was from two weeks ago, but I'm still feeling great about this cut!)
Happiness is... appreciating the little things in life that make everything else worthwhile.
Happiness
Hi Friends,
I happened upon this blog this morning, and was really touched by Suzanne's theme this week. "Happiness Is."
When I was little, I'd visit my grandmother's house a few times a year. She had all sorts of crazy books from the 60's, and I loved to read them. One of them was a Peanuts book called "Happiness Is." I loved that little book, reading what each of Charlie Brown's friends felt made them happy. I especially loved "Happiness is naturally curling hair." Not that I have curly hair... but I've always wanted it!
So here are my two cents:
Happiness is...
*Waking up to sunny, cool summer mornings
*Snuggling Hubby in bed with soft, clean sheets
*Getting ready for work, with enough time to stop by Dunkin' for some iced coffee and a sprinkle donut
*Watching Laura in her crib as she sleeps. By morning, she's all curled up on her tummy like a little bug. Doesn't get cuter.
*Ok, maybe it does get cuter: watching Laura stretch as she slowly wakes up. Arms over her head, face scrunched up, toes flexed.
*Putting on a cute outfit and feeling confident all day.
*Getting a fantastic new haircut. (Maybe that one was from two weeks ago, but I'm still feeling great about this cut!)
Happiness is... appreciating the little things in life that make everything else worthwhile.
I happened upon this blog this morning, and was really touched by Suzanne's theme this week. "Happiness Is."
When I was little, I'd visit my grandmother's house a few times a year. She had all sorts of crazy books from the 60's, and I loved to read them. One of them was a Peanuts book called "Happiness Is." I loved that little book, reading what each of Charlie Brown's friends felt made them happy. I especially loved "Happiness is naturally curling hair." Not that I have curly hair... but I've always wanted it!
So here are my two cents:
Happiness is...
*Waking up to sunny, cool summer mornings
*Snuggling Hubby in bed with soft, clean sheets
*Getting ready for work, with enough time to stop by Dunkin' for some iced coffee and a sprinkle donut
*Watching Laura in her crib as she sleeps. By morning, she's all curled up on her tummy like a little bug. Doesn't get cuter.
*Ok, maybe it does get cuter: watching Laura stretch as she slowly wakes up. Arms over her head, face scrunched up, toes flexed.
*Putting on a cute outfit and feeling confident all day.
*Getting a fantastic new haircut. (Maybe that one was from two weeks ago, but I'm still feeling great about this cut!)
Happiness is... appreciating the little things in life that make everything else worthwhile.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Faking It
I feel like I'm faking my whole life right now. I spent all weekend at my parents being fake happy at being a mom. My parents know what I'm going through... but my grandmother, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, neighbors and friends (all of whom I saw this weekend) do not.
What I said in any number of identical conversations:
[insert any number of people]: "OMG - C, Laura is so beautiful!"
Me: "I know, we're just so lucky"
[person]: "Is she fussy? She seems to happy right now!"
Me: "She's such an easy baby. Truly."
[person]: "How could you not just love her! How do you get anything done!"
Me: "Oh, I know! She's just amazing."
What I wanted to say:
[insert any number of people]: "OMG - C, Laura is so beautiful!"
Me: "Yeah, it's a good thing too, because I would be really unhappy with an ugly baby."
[person]: "Is she fussy? She seems to happy right now!"
Me: "She should be easy. Everyone else seems to think she is."
[person]: "How could you not just love her! How do you get anything done!"
Me: "I hate that statement. Getting stuff done is easy. I just ignore her as much as possible."
I hate lying through my teeth to every person I meet. I would love for once to just say, "You know what, I am having a hard time feeling any attachment to my baby. Please stop gushing over how easy it must be to love her."
And this is why I'm restarting counseling tomorrow.
What I said in any number of identical conversations:
[insert any number of people]: "OMG - C, Laura is so beautiful!"
Me: "I know, we're just so lucky"
[person]: "Is she fussy? She seems to happy right now!"
Me: "She's such an easy baby. Truly."
[person]: "How could you not just love her! How do you get anything done!"
Me: "Oh, I know! She's just amazing."
What I wanted to say:
[insert any number of people]: "OMG - C, Laura is so beautiful!"
Me: "Yeah, it's a good thing too, because I would be really unhappy with an ugly baby."
[person]: "Is she fussy? She seems to happy right now!"
Me: "She should be easy. Everyone else seems to think she is."
[person]: "How could you not just love her! How do you get anything done!"
Me: "I hate that statement. Getting stuff done is easy. I just ignore her as much as possible."
I hate lying through my teeth to every person I meet. I would love for once to just say, "You know what, I am having a hard time feeling any attachment to my baby. Please stop gushing over how easy it must be to love her."
And this is why I'm restarting counseling tomorrow.
Faking It
I feel like I'm faking my whole life right now. I spent all weekend at my parents being fake happy at being a mom. My parents know what I'm going through... but my grandmother, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, neighbors and friends (all of whom I saw this weekend) do not.
What I said in any number of identical conversations:
[insert any number of people]: "OMG - C, Laura is so beautiful!"
Me: "I know, we're just so lucky"
[person]: "Is she fussy? She seems to happy right now!"
Me: "She's such an easy baby. Truly."
[person]: "How could you not just love her! How do you get anything done!"
Me: "Oh, I know! She's just amazing."
What I wanted to say:
[insert any number of people]: "OMG - C, Laura is so beautiful!"
Me: "Yeah, it's a good thing too, because I would be really unhappy with an ugly baby."
[person]: "Is she fussy? She seems to happy right now!"
Me: "She should be easy. Everyone else seems to think she is."
[person]: "How could you not just love her! How do you get anything done!"
Me: "I hate that statement. Getting stuff done is easy. I just ignore her as much as possible."
I hate lying through my teeth to every person I meet. I would love for once to just say, "You know what, I am having a hard time feeling any attachment to my baby. Please stop gushing over how easy it must be to love her."
And this is why I'm restarting counseling tomorrow.
What I said in any number of identical conversations:
[insert any number of people]: "OMG - C, Laura is so beautiful!"
Me: "I know, we're just so lucky"
[person]: "Is she fussy? She seems to happy right now!"
Me: "She's such an easy baby. Truly."
[person]: "How could you not just love her! How do you get anything done!"
Me: "Oh, I know! She's just amazing."
What I wanted to say:
[insert any number of people]: "OMG - C, Laura is so beautiful!"
Me: "Yeah, it's a good thing too, because I would be really unhappy with an ugly baby."
[person]: "Is she fussy? She seems to happy right now!"
Me: "She should be easy. Everyone else seems to think she is."
[person]: "How could you not just love her! How do you get anything done!"
Me: "I hate that statement. Getting stuff done is easy. I just ignore her as much as possible."
I hate lying through my teeth to every person I meet. I would love for once to just say, "You know what, I am having a hard time feeling any attachment to my baby. Please stop gushing over how easy it must be to love her."
And this is why I'm restarting counseling tomorrow.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Hmm
Guess I haven't had much to say the last few days!
Laura is cute as can be, and I'm enjoying her more. Which is great. She's especially easy to enjoy in the morning after she sleeps through the night!
Let's hope last night wasn't a one-time performance :)
Laura is cute as can be, and I'm enjoying her more. Which is great. She's especially easy to enjoy in the morning after she sleeps through the night!
Let's hope last night wasn't a one-time performance :)
Hmm
Guess I haven't had much to say the last few days!
Laura is cute as can be, and I'm enjoying her more. Which is great. She's especially easy to enjoy in the morning after she sleeps through the night!
Let's hope last night wasn't a one-time performance :)
Laura is cute as can be, and I'm enjoying her more. Which is great. She's especially easy to enjoy in the morning after she sleeps through the night!
Let's hope last night wasn't a one-time performance :)
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Shop Therapy
I bought these shoes yesterday:
And tried them on for Hubby.
He couldn't get my panties off fast enough!
I think he liked them.
Shop Therapy
I bought these shoes yesterday:
And tried them on for Hubby.
He couldn't get my panties off fast enough!
I think he liked them.
Monday, June 7, 2010
I was feeling better...
I got a haircut on Friday that made me feel like a new woman. Halfway through the cut, hair still sopping wet, I could tell it was going to be a great cut, and I already felt better. When the stylist finished blowing it dry, and I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt a huge surge of self esteem. Isn't it amazing how much a simple cut can do??
Then Laura's stuffy nose came back. Along with a new friend - a hacking cough. She sounds awful. I sent her to day care anyway (it's a crazy week at work...). She didn't have a fever, so I thought she'd be ok. But when I picked her up this evening, the teachers were rocking her. She had a fever, and they hadn't been able to put her down without tears all afternoon. This stupid cold has been going on since early May. That's over a month of stuffy noses, goopy eyes, coughing and fevers!
If there's any sort of silver lining it's this: I cried the whole drive home from day care listening to her cough. I cried, because I felt bad for my poor baby. Empathy is a good sign, right?
Then Laura's stuffy nose came back. Along with a new friend - a hacking cough. She sounds awful. I sent her to day care anyway (it's a crazy week at work...). She didn't have a fever, so I thought she'd be ok. But when I picked her up this evening, the teachers were rocking her. She had a fever, and they hadn't been able to put her down without tears all afternoon. This stupid cold has been going on since early May. That's over a month of stuffy noses, goopy eyes, coughing and fevers!
If there's any sort of silver lining it's this: I cried the whole drive home from day care listening to her cough. I cried, because I felt bad for my poor baby. Empathy is a good sign, right?
I was feeling better...
I got a haircut on Friday that made me feel like a new woman. Halfway through the cut, hair still sopping wet, I could tell it was going to be a great cut, and I already felt better. When the stylist finished blowing it dry, and I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt a huge surge of self esteem. Isn't it amazing how much a simple cut can do??
Then Laura's stuffy nose came back. Along with a new friend - a hacking cough. She sounds awful. I sent her to day care anyway (it's a crazy week at work...). She didn't have a fever, so I thought she'd be ok. But when I picked her up this evening, the teachers were rocking her. She had a fever, and they hadn't been able to put her down without tears all afternoon. This stupid cold has been going on since early May. That's over a month of stuffy noses, goopy eyes, coughing and fevers!
If there's any sort of silver lining it's this: I cried the whole drive home from day care listening to her cough. I cried, because I felt bad for my poor baby. Empathy is a good sign, right?
Then Laura's stuffy nose came back. Along with a new friend - a hacking cough. She sounds awful. I sent her to day care anyway (it's a crazy week at work...). She didn't have a fever, so I thought she'd be ok. But when I picked her up this evening, the teachers were rocking her. She had a fever, and they hadn't been able to put her down without tears all afternoon. This stupid cold has been going on since early May. That's over a month of stuffy noses, goopy eyes, coughing and fevers!
If there's any sort of silver lining it's this: I cried the whole drive home from day care listening to her cough. I cried, because I felt bad for my poor baby. Empathy is a good sign, right?
Friday, June 4, 2010
Finally!
It's finally Friday! I don't know about the rest of you, but this week took forEVER. And even this morning, I was surprised to realize it's Friday... because it felt so much like a Thursday.
You know what's even better? We don't really have plans for this weekend! I love seeing friends, traveling, and keeping busy like we do most weekends. But it's really nice to have a little free time too!
Do you have any plans this weekend?
You know what's even better? We don't really have plans for this weekend! I love seeing friends, traveling, and keeping busy like we do most weekends. But it's really nice to have a little free time too!
Do you have any plans this weekend?
Finally!
It's finally Friday! I don't know about the rest of you, but this week took forEVER. And even this morning, I was surprised to realize it's Friday... because it felt so much like a Thursday.
You know what's even better? We don't really have plans for this weekend! I love seeing friends, traveling, and keeping busy like we do most weekends. But it's really nice to have a little free time too!
Do you have any plans this weekend?
You know what's even better? We don't really have plans for this weekend! I love seeing friends, traveling, and keeping busy like we do most weekends. But it's really nice to have a little free time too!
Do you have any plans this weekend?
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Ugh...
The counselor I saw last week isn't covered by my health insurance. And since I can't afford $120 every week, I have to find someone else.
Just what every depressed, shaky new mom needs, right?
Update: I found another counselor who does accept my (apparently obnoxious) insurance. But she can't see me for two weeks. TWO WEEKS!
Just what every depressed, shaky new mom needs, right?
Update: I found another counselor who does accept my (apparently obnoxious) insurance. But she can't see me for two weeks. TWO WEEKS!
Ugh...
The counselor I saw last week isn't covered by my health insurance. And since I can't afford $120 every week, I have to find someone else.
Just what every depressed, shaky new mom needs, right?
Update: I found another counselor who does accept my (apparently obnoxious) insurance. But she can't see me for two weeks. TWO WEEKS!
Just what every depressed, shaky new mom needs, right?
Update: I found another counselor who does accept my (apparently obnoxious) insurance. But she can't see me for two weeks. TWO WEEKS!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Guess who slept through the night?!!
ME!!!
And the baby, I think.
I woke up with the alarm this morning. Smacked the snooze button... and then realized that I couldn't remember getting up at 3:30am.
"Hey, Hubby. Did you get up with the baby during the night?"
"Nope."
"I didn't either. I don't think. I can't remember."
"I think she slept through!"
So either Laura slept through the night, or we slept through her crying. Either way, Mommy got a full 8 hours and feels like a new woman! I would love for this to continue.
And the baby, I think.
I woke up with the alarm this morning. Smacked the snooze button... and then realized that I couldn't remember getting up at 3:30am.
"Hey, Hubby. Did you get up with the baby during the night?"
"Nope."
"I didn't either. I don't think. I can't remember."
"I think she slept through!"
So either Laura slept through the night, or we slept through her crying. Either way, Mommy got a full 8 hours and feels like a new woman! I would love for this to continue.
Guess who slept through the night?!!
ME!!!
And the baby, I think.
I woke up with the alarm this morning. Smacked the snooze button... and then realized that I couldn't remember getting up at 3:30am.
"Hey, Hubby. Did you get up with the baby during the night?"
"Nope."
"I didn't either. I don't think. I can't remember."
"I think she slept through!"
So either Laura slept through the night, or we slept through her crying. Either way, Mommy got a full 8 hours and feels like a new woman! I would love for this to continue.
And the baby, I think.
I woke up with the alarm this morning. Smacked the snooze button... and then realized that I couldn't remember getting up at 3:30am.
"Hey, Hubby. Did you get up with the baby during the night?"
"Nope."
"I didn't either. I don't think. I can't remember."
"I think she slept through!"
So either Laura slept through the night, or we slept through her crying. Either way, Mommy got a full 8 hours and feels like a new woman! I would love for this to continue.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Back to work
We had a lovely weekend. Friends, sun, wine... it was great.
But yesterday I started feeling down again. I don't know why. But I just can't get myself back up. I was supposed to have a counseling session this afternoon, but she called to postpone till Friday (her daughter is sick). I guess I'll have to try to work through things on my own till then. Good thing it's a short week, right?
But yesterday I started feeling down again. I don't know why. But I just can't get myself back up. I was supposed to have a counseling session this afternoon, but she called to postpone till Friday (her daughter is sick). I guess I'll have to try to work through things on my own till then. Good thing it's a short week, right?
Back to work
We had a lovely weekend. Friends, sun, wine... it was great.
But yesterday I started feeling down again. I don't know why. But I just can't get myself back up. I was supposed to have a counseling session this afternoon, but she called to postpone till Friday (her daughter is sick). I guess I'll have to try to work through things on my own till then. Good thing it's a short week, right?
But yesterday I started feeling down again. I don't know why. But I just can't get myself back up. I was supposed to have a counseling session this afternoon, but she called to postpone till Friday (her daughter is sick). I guess I'll have to try to work through things on my own till then. Good thing it's a short week, right?
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