Friday, June 25, 2010

A wish for my daughter

I was silently judging fellow commuters as I walked to my train the other day. I do this often. Who doesn’t? (Or maybe I’m alone in this, and really mean).

OMG what is he wearing?

Ew, get a haircut!

Then I saw cute girl in a cute outfit. Her hair and make-up were very nicely put together. She was laughing with her friend. And what did I think?

Well, she’s pretty cute. But she knows it. Ugh.

But it immediately occurred to me, why is it so bad for a cute girl to be confident in how she looks and carries herself?

All of us out there who silently judge. Who only look at a person’s appearance. Who sneer at older fashions. We are the ones who allow the epidemic of low self-esteem to abound. Why should anyone care who wears what? Isn’t the most important thing being comfortable in who we are? God forbid someone is actually happy with their appearance!

It has become abundantly clear in recent weeks that most of my insecurities as a mother stem from a long history of low self-esteem. My trouble creating lasting friendships? My lack of motivation? Depression? Anxiety? All the irrational fears? Low self-esteem.

If I have one wish for my daughter, it’s that she live her life in confidence. I will devote the rest of my life to showing Laura that she is a beautiful, smart and wonderful person. I want her to walk through life holding her head up high.

And so, with this in mind, I have decided to make an effort to stop judging people based on appearances alone. I will attempt to appreciate people for who they are on the inside, before passing judgment. People should be able to wear the clothes that make them comfortable. Who am I to judge?