McFatty Monday

Holy guacamole - is it Monday again, already??  Looks like it.  Back on the diet bandwagon.

It feels really weird to me to be on a diet.  I haven't been on a diet since college.  When I was trying to lose too much weight.  And succeeded.  I am 5'4" - pretty average.  So you can imagine how awkwardly thin I must have looked at a mere 105 pounds. 

Back in my 105 pound days (striving to "break" 100), I was less than happy.  Honestly, no one who is that thin (and trying to be thinner) can be called happy.  I was too hungry to be happy.  Hunger was a feeling that I chalked up to "lack of control."  Because I needed to control something in my crazy life.  And if eating half a sandwich and 6 celery sticks a day was control, then I was all over it. 

Thankfully, I met my husband, found things to be happy about, and regained much of the weight I so desperately needed.  I stopped caring about calories (ingested and burned - because you know I practically lived at the gym).  I stopped obsessing over clothing sizes.  I started to become a person again.

So you can see how I feel at odds with my current diet.  I'm so used to making sure I eat, making sure I'm full, making sure I'm healthy, that I've gone the other way.  Now I weigh too much, and even I can see that my size 8's are just a little snug (and that I'd really like to rediscover all the size 6 clothes I have).  I went with Weight Watchers because I liked that I could eat whatever I wanted - as long as I minded portions and made smart choices.  And because my friend has been doing it.  Strength in numbers! 

But what I'm finding is that it's really easy to ignore and forget about some abstract points system.  Even though "there's an app for that," I don't feel an overwhelming need to log everything I've eaten onto my iPhone.  Especially on weekends.  Weekends are so hard.

Goals for this week?  Be honest in logging my Weight Watchers points.  Because WW is an honor system.  And so far, I have several strikes against me.

And if you want to learn more about me, check my post from a few days ago!