I hear all the time from other friends, my sister-in-law, and other bloggers how hard it is to maintain friendships with non-mom friends. I hear you. None of my best friends from college or even high school have children. I do everything I can to maintain our friendship... but it's hard! I can only go out for drinks on Thursday nights - and when I do, I have almost nothing beyond baby stories to share. I'm sure my friends adore my children almost as much as I do (they are pretty fabulous), but it must be exhausting to hear about poop over drinks every time we go out.
And for that I am sorry. Friends without (human) children (kittens and puppies are totally children) - I am sorry that I am not more fun on the rare Thursday night I go out for drinks. I still love you. You are important to me. I hope you feel the same!
To my friends who have recently become moms themselves? I'm sure you are feeling lonely and cut-off from your non-mom friends! It's hard! But here's the thing: you have to get out there and make NEW friends. I promise. It's life-altering.
I remember being so scared the first time I reached out to another mom at daycare. I left a note in her daughter's cubby: "Hi! I'm Caitlin, Laura's mom. Laura talks about A all the time. I hope it's mutual. Here's my email, I'd love to have a playdate."
I shook with fear as I placed that note in the cubby. I shook with nervous apprehension every time I checked my email. Did this chick think I was nuts? Am I nuts? But lo! She emailed, we set up a playdate, and it was FUN. This same mom and I have made friends with a few other moms at school. We have a monthly wine and craft night where we can have a few drinks, bitch about the woes of daycare, laugh about poop, and share recipes. It's fabulous.
We made superhero capes back in June!
Looking back, I can't imagine why I was so afraid to put that note in that cubby. It's the best thing I've done as a new mom. And if there's any advice I can offer to other new moms it's to do the same. Put yourself out there. Go to a mommy and me class, a meet-up, a story time at the library. Take a deep breath, shake out the nerves, put your kid in a front-pack and get yourself out there. New friends are wonderful.