It's All About Sacrifice

It's Lent.  I'm Catholic.  I had to give something up.  You know, because it's Lent and stuff and that's what  you do.  You give something up for forty days and forty nights, and then you go crazy like a glutton on Easter Morning, gorging yourself with everything you gave up on Ash Wednesday.  As a child, I sometimes gave up gum, which was sort of a cop-out, since I have never really liked gum.  Another year, I gave up red meat - except for the week I spent with my French class in France.  For the last few years, I have given up the snacks my coworkers leave in the kitchen.  But this year I wanted to give up something more meaningful.

Unfortunately for me, by lunch on Ash Wednesday, I had already (a) bought breakfast at (b) Starbucks, where I had (c) coffee which I followed with (d) a snack of (e) chocolate that I (f) got from the kitchen at work.  I had broken six sacrifices on the first day alone.  I needed to find something else to give up.  Something that would, hopefully, be a little more meaningful than candy or coffee.

I wracked my brain all day Wednesday and Thursday.  I couldn't come up with anything.  On Friday, it hit me like a bolt of lightning.  Laura was screaming over nothing, and I was getting more and more upset.  I turned to my favorite phrase: "Laura, you are driving me NUTS!"  That's when I realized that I had something real, something meaningful, to give up for Lent.

I gave up being frustrated with my daughter.

It has been two weeks since I gave up being frustrated with Laura.  By the second day, I had discovered the cause of my frustration: worry.  Whenever I worried about something regarding Laura, I started to get frustrated with her.  Not eating her dinner turned me into a frustrated psychopath.  Surely my daughter wasn't getting enough nutrients!  Doesn't she know she needs to eat?! Argh!  And even worse?  The more I worried, the more frustrated (with Laura) I became when I felt Nate wasn't being supportive enough.

So I stopped worrying about Laura's food intake.  She's a happy, healthy little girl, so what does it matter?  If she's hungry, she'll eat.  She certainly never turns down a strawberry or banana, so she's getting something.  I stopped worrying, and my frustration levels plummeted. 

It has been two weeks since I gave up being frustrated with my daughter.  And in that time, I have played more.  I have laughed more.  I have enjoyed my daughter more.  And by not feeling constantly frustrated, I have been able to spend more time keeping our house (relatively) tidy.  I have cooked dinner for my family, which we have eaten together as a family.  Laura is eating more consistently, and is picking up new words and phrases like it's her job (which I guess maybe it is). 

It's been two weeks since I gave up being frustrated with my daughter.  My life is better.  I have spent more energy reflecting on my fortunate life and my wonderful family.  In the past two weeks, I have been a better wife, mother and person.  This is the best thing I have ever given up for Lent.