I have spent much of the past seven months whiney, miserable and complaining. That probably won't change in the next two months. However, things haven't been all bad all the time. And the very fact that I'm growing an entire person - complete with personality - in my womb is pretty amazing.
At dinner with friends the other day, I took a sip of the most wonderful concoction ever... concocted. Italian grapefruit soda. If you know where to buy this, let me know. Gavin is really into bubbly, lightly sweetened grapefruit-scented beverages. In a way I never would have been on my own. I took a sip, and he did a happy roll in my tummy. At that moment, my life was perfect and I told my friends as much.
But how do you know? How can you tell when Gavin likes something or really hates it?
Huh. I hadn't really thought about it before. I just sort of... know. For much of this pregnancy, I've had very little appetite. I eat because I'm hungry and need to... even though nothing sounds like it will taste good. So a lot of what I eat are foods that I just tend to like on my own. Gavin seems neutral for most of these choices. They neither alarm nor delight his palette.
Sometimes I'll eat something that (under normal, non-pregnant circumstances) appeals to me. Within bites I know I've made a poor choice. I feel completely off. I want nothing more of the food in front of me. I get angry kicks and jabs from Gavin. Potbelly sandwiches - of any flavor! - are at the top of this list (woe is me)!
Then other times I'll eat something so marvelously delicious and perfect and wonderful. Like veal picatta. Or Perrier Pink Grapefruit. Or some other overly expensive. My tongue revels with delight over these wonderfully delicious, savory foods. Gavin rolls and wiggles in my tummy. Everything feels happy and good and wonderful. The world is a good place, and I am happy.
These are the moments when I realize that I am doing something amazing, by carrying this child. I need to eat more veal and drink more Perrier. Maybe then I'll spend a little more of the next two months marveling in the wonder and beauty that is pregnancy.