Tuesday, February 16, 2010


See, I started this blog as an outlet for my deepest, darkest feelings.  And all your wonderful comments and suggestions proves that this blog was a good idea.  Hubby took care of Lulu almost all of yesterday while I slept, cried, slept some more.

And last night, Lulu slept!  It's amazing what a good night's sleep can do.  I talked to my mom on the phone.  She let me cry, and also assured me that:
a) My feelings are normal
b) I'm doing really well as a mommy
c) It'll get easier
d) crying is really healthy and good for new moms

So I woke up today and am feeling much better.  It's so wonderful to look at my baby and see how beautiful she is.  I wish BFing weren't quite so frustrating.  It's not even the feeding part.  Lulu is an "efficient" eater, which means she cleans me out in 10 minutes or less.  Which is fine on its own, BUT it doesn't satisfy her need to suck.  She won't take a pacifier (we've tried a few brands/types), and she can't find her thumb or fingers.  We spend a lot of time with a pinky in her mouth hoping she won't notice if we pull it out.  I'm praying she'll find her thumb soon!  I never thought I'd hope for a thumb-sucker, but here I am.

So, as pruned as my pinky might be at the moment, at least I'm feeling better, right?