Lately, I've been getting some great comments from you, my loyal readers! I have wanted to be able to respond to your comments, since I enjoy a good, open dialogue. So I have (attempted) installed IntenseDebate to allow better commenting.
For instance, this morning I saw a great comment on my last post. I wanted to respond to the comment that, yes, Laura was a bit warm in her tiger suit BUT we were in New England where it wasn't quite as brutally hot as it has been in Maryland.
So hopefully, this new system will be better for interaction with you guys. I welcome your feedback! Comment away!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Comments welcome!
Lately, I've been getting some great comments from you, my loyal readers! I have wanted to be able to respond to your comments, since I enjoy a good, open dialogue. So I have (attempted) installed IntenseDebate to allow better commenting.
For instance, this morning I saw a great comment on my last post. I wanted to respond to the comment that, yes, Laura was a bit warm in her tiger suit BUT we were in New England where it wasn't quite as brutally hot as it has been in Maryland.
So hopefully, this new system will be better for interaction with you guys. I welcome your feedback! Comment away!
For instance, this morning I saw a great comment on my last post. I wanted to respond to the comment that, yes, Laura was a bit warm in her tiger suit BUT we were in New England where it wasn't quite as brutally hot as it has been in Maryland.
So hopefully, this new system will be better for interaction with you guys. I welcome your feedback! Comment away!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
8 months!
Can you believe it? Laura is 8 months old today! EIGHT WHOLE MONTH! I have no idea how much she weighs or anything, except that she's still in size 3 diapers and is rocking her 9 month wardrobe. She has the biggest, most wonderful personality. I just love seeing her face light up at the silliest things! This morning, she got the biggest kick out of seeing me with the towel wrapped around my head after my shower. I bet I really did look silly! More to the point, I'm really starting to connect with Laura and have fun with her. And what a great feeling that is!
On a side-note, I'm thinking of dying my hair red. Like, a audurn red. So it's still really brown, but in a red sort of way. What do you think? Could I pull that off?
8 months!
Can you believe it? Laura is 8 months old today! EIGHT WHOLE MONTH! I have no idea how much she weighs or anything, except that she's still in size 3 diapers and is rocking her 9 month wardrobe. She has the biggest, most wonderful personality. I just love seeing her face light up at the silliest things! This morning, she got the biggest kick out of seeing me with the towel wrapped around my head after my shower. I bet I really did look silly! More to the point, I'm really starting to connect with Laura and have fun with her. And what a great feeling that is!
On a side-note, I'm thinking of dying my hair red. Like, a audurn red. So it's still really brown, but in a red sort of way. What do you think? Could I pull that off?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
The End of the World
Now that I've eaten my breakfast, I can tell you my dream last night. I think it was a nightmare, but it was so beautiful at the same time... I was awestruck both in my dream and awake. It was so beautiful, I did not realize how scary it was until I truly thought about it.
Hubby and I were at my parents' house, stargazing on a beautiful, late-summer Cape Cod night. The crickets were chirping, and everything was perfect.
"Look!" exclaimed Hubby, "A nebula! You probably don't even know what a nebula is."
"Um, of course I do. You make me watch hours of Discovery Channel programming. Look! Another!"
I pointed to a quick burst of sparks where a star once twinkled. The sparks fell, and the star was gone.
It happened to yet another star nearby - a burst of sparks and then nothing.
Pretty soon, the whole sky was filled with these bursting stars. It almost looked like fireworks, except that as they sparks fell the sky was left a little darker.
The stars were exploding.
It was the end of the world.
From here, my dream became twisted and convoluted, like dreams often do. We wound up trudging through woods in some eternal daylight (since our own star, the Sun, was in the act of bursting). We were dirty and tired, trying to get to Laura who was at the mall with my mother-in-law. I'm not sure what happened next; maybe I woke up.
I wish I knew what this dream meant. But since I waited to tell it till after breakfast, we can all rest easy that it won't come true. So the world won't be ending anytime too soon. You're welcome.
Hubby and I were at my parents' house, stargazing on a beautiful, late-summer Cape Cod night. The crickets were chirping, and everything was perfect.
"Look!" exclaimed Hubby, "A nebula! You probably don't even know what a nebula is."
"Um, of course I do. You make me watch hours of Discovery Channel programming. Look! Another!"
I pointed to a quick burst of sparks where a star once twinkled. The sparks fell, and the star was gone.
It happened to yet another star nearby - a burst of sparks and then nothing.
Pretty soon, the whole sky was filled with these bursting stars. It almost looked like fireworks, except that as they sparks fell the sky was left a little darker.
The stars were exploding.
It was the end of the world.
From here, my dream became twisted and convoluted, like dreams often do. We wound up trudging through woods in some eternal daylight (since our own star, the Sun, was in the act of bursting). We were dirty and tired, trying to get to Laura who was at the mall with my mother-in-law. I'm not sure what happened next; maybe I woke up.
I wish I knew what this dream meant. But since I waited to tell it till after breakfast, we can all rest easy that it won't come true. So the world won't be ending anytime too soon. You're welcome.
The End of the World
Now that I've eaten my breakfast, I can tell you my dream last night. I think it was a nightmare, but it was so beautiful at the same time... I was awestruck both in my dream and awake. It was so beautiful, I did not realize how scary it was until I truly thought about it.
Hubby and I were at my parents' house, stargazing on a beautiful, late-summer Cape Cod night. The crickets were chirping, and everything was perfect.
"Look!" exclaimed Hubby, "A nebula! You probably don't even know what a nebula is."
"Um, of course I do. You make me watch hours of Discovery Channel programming. Look! Another!"
I pointed to a quick burst of sparks where a star once twinkled. The sparks fell, and the star was gone.
It happened to yet another star nearby - a burst of sparks and then nothing.
Pretty soon, the whole sky was filled with these bursting stars. It almost looked like fireworks, except that as they sparks fell the sky was left a little darker.
The stars were exploding.
It was the end of the world.
From here, my dream became twisted and convoluted, like dreams often do. We wound up trudging through woods in some eternal daylight (since our own star, the Sun, was in the act of bursting). We were dirty and tired, trying to get to Laura who was at the mall with my mother-in-law. I'm not sure what happened next; maybe I woke up.
I wish I knew what this dream meant. But since I waited to tell it till after breakfast, we can all rest easy that it won't come true. So the world won't be ending anytime too soon. You're welcome.
Hubby and I were at my parents' house, stargazing on a beautiful, late-summer Cape Cod night. The crickets were chirping, and everything was perfect.
"Look!" exclaimed Hubby, "A nebula! You probably don't even know what a nebula is."
"Um, of course I do. You make me watch hours of Discovery Channel programming. Look! Another!"
I pointed to a quick burst of sparks where a star once twinkled. The sparks fell, and the star was gone.
It happened to yet another star nearby - a burst of sparks and then nothing.
Pretty soon, the whole sky was filled with these bursting stars. It almost looked like fireworks, except that as they sparks fell the sky was left a little darker.
The stars were exploding.
It was the end of the world.
From here, my dream became twisted and convoluted, like dreams often do. We wound up trudging through woods in some eternal daylight (since our own star, the Sun, was in the act of bursting). We were dirty and tired, trying to get to Laura who was at the mall with my mother-in-law. I'm not sure what happened next; maybe I woke up.
I wish I knew what this dream meant. But since I waited to tell it till after breakfast, we can all rest easy that it won't come true. So the world won't be ending anytime too soon. You're welcome.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Memories
My grandmother fought a long, hard battle with Alzheimers and finally sucumbed on Halloween 2007. I had not seen her in several months, at which point she did not know who I was – only that I was someone important. She was no longer able to walk, hold a fork, or speak.
But she could still smile. And when my grandfather told her to show me her beautiful engagement ring – which he had finally been able to afford for her that Christmas – she looked at me, beamed, and held out her hand.
My grandmother’s deterioration was slow for several years, with many doctors denying there was anything wrong. Those years were painful. All of us knowing that something was off, but unable to get the proper care. By the time she was diagnosed, she was beginning a rapid decline.
I choose to remember Grandma the last time I saw her – happily showing off the ring she so well deserved. I have never seen her happier.
But she could still smile. And when my grandfather told her to show me her beautiful engagement ring – which he had finally been able to afford for her that Christmas – she looked at me, beamed, and held out her hand.
My grandmother’s deterioration was slow for several years, with many doctors denying there was anything wrong. Those years were painful. All of us knowing that something was off, but unable to get the proper care. By the time she was diagnosed, she was beginning a rapid decline.
I choose to remember Grandma the last time I saw her – happily showing off the ring she so well deserved. I have never seen her happier.
Memories
My grandmother fought a long, hard battle with Alzheimers and finally sucumbed on Halloween 2007. I had not seen her in several months, at which point she did not know who I was – only that I was someone important. She was no longer able to walk, hold a fork, or speak.
But she could still smile. And when my grandfather told her to show me her beautiful engagement ring – which he had finally been able to afford for her that Christmas – she looked at me, beamed, and held out her hand.
My grandmother’s deterioration was slow for several years, with many doctors denying there was anything wrong. Those years were painful. All of us knowing that something was off, but unable to get the proper care. By the time she was diagnosed, she was beginning a rapid decline.
I choose to remember Grandma the last time I saw her – happily showing off the ring she so well deserved. I have never seen her happier.
But she could still smile. And when my grandfather told her to show me her beautiful engagement ring – which he had finally been able to afford for her that Christmas – she looked at me, beamed, and held out her hand.
My grandmother’s deterioration was slow for several years, with many doctors denying there was anything wrong. Those years were painful. All of us knowing that something was off, but unable to get the proper care. By the time she was diagnosed, she was beginning a rapid decline.
I choose to remember Grandma the last time I saw her – happily showing off the ring she so well deserved. I have never seen her happier.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Ouchy
Well, I got my bloggy feelings hurt for the first time. It was bound to happen; I've been blogging for like a year and a half at this point!
I heard about Pearistas over at Pretty Swell. I love writing letters, and am more intimately devoted to letters and the post than you could ever imagine. Like for serious. My job is all about it. And I love it. So, I thought, wouldn't I be a great fit? I love writing letters. I'm completely obsessed with stationary. Good fit! Wrong. I received this email the other day:
Thank you for your interest in becoming a Pearista. I looked at your blog and really like the content and design, but we are looking for people within a bigger blogging community.
My heart literally sank. I mean, the free stationary for participating would have been lovely - and I would have used it too! More than anything else, I wanted to share my love for the written letter with you, my digital friends. And I'm sorry that you, my loyal readers, are not considered a large enough blogging community.
Disapointed? Yes. Will I think twice about purchasing stationary from Pear Tree Greetings? I need some time to recover. Will I stop sending letters? NEVER!! Write on!
I heard about Pearistas over at Pretty Swell. I love writing letters, and am more intimately devoted to letters and the post than you could ever imagine. Like for serious. My job is all about it. And I love it. So, I thought, wouldn't I be a great fit? I love writing letters. I'm completely obsessed with stationary. Good fit! Wrong. I received this email the other day:
Thank you for your interest in becoming a Pearista. I looked at your blog and really like the content and design, but we are looking for people within a bigger blogging community.
My heart literally sank. I mean, the free stationary for participating would have been lovely - and I would have used it too! More than anything else, I wanted to share my love for the written letter with you, my digital friends. And I'm sorry that you, my loyal readers, are not considered a large enough blogging community.
Disapointed? Yes. Will I think twice about purchasing stationary from Pear Tree Greetings? I need some time to recover. Will I stop sending letters? NEVER!! Write on!
Ouchy
Well, I got my bloggy feelings hurt for the first time. It was bound to happen; I've been blogging for like a year and a half at this point!
I heard about Pearistas over at Pretty Swell. I love writing letters, and am more intimately devoted to letters and the post than you could ever imagine. Like for serious. My job is all about it. And I love it. So, I thought, wouldn't I be a great fit? I love writing letters. I'm completely obsessed with stationary. Good fit! Wrong. I received this email the other day:
Thank you for your interest in becoming a Pearista. I looked at your blog and really like the content and design, but we are looking for people within a bigger blogging community.
My heart literally sank. I mean, the free stationary for participating would have been lovely - and I would have used it too! More than anything else, I wanted to share my love for the written letter with you, my digital friends. And I'm sorry that you, my loyal readers, are not considered a large enough blogging community.
Disapointed? Yes. Will I think twice about purchasing stationary from Pear Tree Greetings? I need some time to recover. Will I stop sending letters? NEVER!! Write on!
I heard about Pearistas over at Pretty Swell. I love writing letters, and am more intimately devoted to letters and the post than you could ever imagine. Like for serious. My job is all about it. And I love it. So, I thought, wouldn't I be a great fit? I love writing letters. I'm completely obsessed with stationary. Good fit! Wrong. I received this email the other day:
Thank you for your interest in becoming a Pearista. I looked at your blog and really like the content and design, but we are looking for people within a bigger blogging community.
My heart literally sank. I mean, the free stationary for participating would have been lovely - and I would have used it too! More than anything else, I wanted to share my love for the written letter with you, my digital friends. And I'm sorry that you, my loyal readers, are not considered a large enough blogging community.
Disapointed? Yes. Will I think twice about purchasing stationary from Pear Tree Greetings? I need some time to recover. Will I stop sending letters? NEVER!! Write on!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Happy Museum Day!
Why, hello friends! Wondering what to do this weekend? Wonder no more! Visit your friendly, neighborhood museum!
http://intransit.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/09/18/free-admission-to-museums-nationwide/
That's right! Hundreds of museums nationwide are participating in the 6th Annual Museum Day on Saturday, September 25th. I might be somewhat biased, but I think museums are among the best places for family outings. Museums are appropriate for any age. Infants can experience the sounds and colors. Teens can text with their friends just as easily from a museum (free wifi!) as from the couch.
Worried about your toddler talking too loudly? Contrary to the stereotypes, most museums encourage their visitors to talk and engage with the exhibits. Many art museums host special programs just for young families! Have I sold it yet? Did I mention that the participating museums are FREE on Saturday? What are you waiting for? Call your friends! Have fun!
http://intransit.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/09/18/free-admission-to-museums-nationwide/
That's right! Hundreds of museums nationwide are participating in the 6th Annual Museum Day on Saturday, September 25th. I might be somewhat biased, but I think museums are among the best places for family outings. Museums are appropriate for any age. Infants can experience the sounds and colors. Teens can text with their friends just as easily from a museum (free wifi!) as from the couch.
Worried about your toddler talking too loudly? Contrary to the stereotypes, most museums encourage their visitors to talk and engage with the exhibits. Many art museums host special programs just for young families! Have I sold it yet? Did I mention that the participating museums are FREE on Saturday? What are you waiting for? Call your friends! Have fun!
Happy Museum Day!
Why, hello friends! Wondering what to do this weekend? Wonder no more! Visit your friendly, neighborhood museum!
http://intransit.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/09/18/free-admission-to-museums-nationwide/
That's right! Hundreds of museums nationwide are participating in the 6th Annual Museum Day on Saturday, September 25th. I might be somewhat biased, but I think museums are among the best places for family outings. Museums are appropriate for any age. Infants can experience the sounds and colors. Teens can text with their friends just as easily from a museum (free wifi!) as from the couch.
Worried about your toddler talking too loudly? Contrary to the stereotypes, most museums encourage their visitors to talk and engage with the exhibits. Many art museums host special programs just for young families! Have I sold it yet? Did I mention that the participating museums are FREE on Saturday? What are you waiting for? Call your friends! Have fun!
http://intransit.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/09/18/free-admission-to-museums-nationwide/
That's right! Hundreds of museums nationwide are participating in the 6th Annual Museum Day on Saturday, September 25th. I might be somewhat biased, but I think museums are among the best places for family outings. Museums are appropriate for any age. Infants can experience the sounds and colors. Teens can text with their friends just as easily from a museum (free wifi!) as from the couch.
Worried about your toddler talking too loudly? Contrary to the stereotypes, most museums encourage their visitors to talk and engage with the exhibits. Many art museums host special programs just for young families! Have I sold it yet? Did I mention that the participating museums are FREE on Saturday? What are you waiting for? Call your friends! Have fun!
Monday, September 20, 2010
McFatty Monday
It wasn't a stellar week, by any means. But I did find myself eating smaller portions without feeling hungry and ravenous and evil in between meals. All weekend, whenever Hubby asked "what's for breakfast/lunch/dinner," my answer was "I dunno, I'm not that hungry." And that was the honest answer! I just wasn't that hungry!
It's a pretty good feeling. I'm attributing it to all the hot tea and oatmeal I've been eating. Have I mentioned that I'm OBSESSED with oatmeal right now? Seriously. I have hated the gloppy stuff my whole life until last month. I'm on my third box - and that's just what I make at home! I mostly buy my oatmeal from Starbucks every morning.
So let's just call this the Oatmeal-and-decaf-tea diet. Works for me!
McFatty Monday
It wasn't a stellar week, by any means. But I did find myself eating smaller portions without feeling hungry and ravenous and evil in between meals. All weekend, whenever Hubby asked "what's for breakfast/lunch/dinner," my answer was "I dunno, I'm not that hungry." And that was the honest answer! I just wasn't that hungry!
It's a pretty good feeling. I'm attributing it to all the hot tea and oatmeal I've been eating. Have I mentioned that I'm OBSESSED with oatmeal right now? Seriously. I have hated the gloppy stuff my whole life until last month. I'm on my third box - and that's just what I make at home! I mostly buy my oatmeal from Starbucks every morning.
So let's just call this the Oatmeal-and-decaf-tea diet. Works for me!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Once you're wet...
Have you ever inserted yourself into someone else's story? I have.
Several years ago, my mom took my sister, two cousinsand me on a mini golf excursion. It was our their annual fun day - the girls out with Auntie G. Lunch, ice cream, and (of course!) mini golf. It was a sort of gray-ish day, but that was fine. It would mean a shorter wait for mini golf. The skies got darker and darker as we they approached the mini golf place. My mom paid for the round and we they headed off to the first hole. No sooner had the golfing begun when the skies opened. It was pouring down rain. The few other golfers on the course ran for cover. But my mom walked up to her ball, lined up and putted. Because, after all,
"Once you're wet, you're wet!"
I love this story so much, and only wish I could have actually been a part of it. I was fondly reminded of it last night, as the skies opened on the 1/4 mile walk to my car. I found myself without an umbrella, soaking wet, in the stupidest shoes ever created. There was no way I was running to my car in the stupid shoes, where I would still have arrived soaking wet. So instead, I turned my face to the sky and revelled in the rain. It was beautiful.
Several years ago, my mom took my sister, two cousins
"Once you're wet, you're wet!"
I love this story so much, and only wish I could have actually been a part of it. I was fondly reminded of it last night, as the skies opened on the 1/4 mile walk to my car. I found myself without an umbrella, soaking wet, in the stupidest shoes ever created. There was no way I was running to my car in the stupid shoes, where I would still have arrived soaking wet. So instead, I turned my face to the sky and revelled in the rain. It was beautiful.
Once you're wet...
Have you ever inserted yourself into someone else's story? I have.
Several years ago, my mom took my sister, two cousinsand me on a mini golf excursion. It was our their annual fun day - the girls out with Auntie G. Lunch, ice cream, and (of course!) mini golf. It was a sort of gray-ish day, but that was fine. It would mean a shorter wait for mini golf. The skies got darker and darker as we they approached the mini golf place. My mom paid for the round and we they headed off to the first hole. No sooner had the golfing begun when the skies opened. It was pouring down rain. The few other golfers on the course ran for cover. But my mom walked up to her ball, lined up and putted. Because, after all,
"Once you're wet, you're wet!"
I love this story so much, and only wish I could have actually been a part of it. I was fondly reminded of it last night, as the skies opened on the 1/4 mile walk to my car. I found myself without an umbrella, soaking wet, in the stupidest shoes ever created. There was no way I was running to my car in the stupid shoes, where I would still have arrived soaking wet. So instead, I turned my face to the sky and revelled in the rain. It was beautiful.
Several years ago, my mom took my sister, two cousins
"Once you're wet, you're wet!"
I love this story so much, and only wish I could have actually been a part of it. I was fondly reminded of it last night, as the skies opened on the 1/4 mile walk to my car. I found myself without an umbrella, soaking wet, in the stupidest shoes ever created. There was no way I was running to my car in the stupid shoes, where I would still have arrived soaking wet. So instead, I turned my face to the sky and revelled in the rain. It was beautiful.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Laura's Birth: A revisionist story
For the last few nights, I've lain in bed, awake, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the birth story I typed out just days after Laura was born. It was the product of exhaustion and relief. Relief that the baby was finally here, and that I was no longer pregnant. But happiness and excitement? Looking back, I don't remember those feelings at all. I had written that story in part for me, but also for the prenatal yoga class I had taken for almost the entirety of my pregnancy. So this morning I revised my birth story and sent the following to my wonderful yoga instructor, in hopes that the moms she is seeing now can learn from my experiences with PPD.
Hi ___,
I've been meaning to write to you for a few weeks now in regards to the first 6 months with Laura. My birth story email to you and the yoga moms was written almost as soon as I got home from the hospital back in January. I'm sure it was over-populated with exclamation points; if I had it to write over again, it would be exactly the same. That first week is such a haze of exhaustion, only exclamation points will do! For me, however, my dazed weeks stretched into months. Seven months and two weeks later, I would like to revise my story a little.
Laura's birth story is still the same. My water broke at 2:04. I received pitocin six hours later. I begged for an epidural six hours after that. I pushed for one hour, and then Laura was born. Here's where my revised story begins.
I was expecting Laura to pop out, cry, and be placed all gooey on my chest. I expected Nate to cut her cord. Instead, when Laura came out, she was rushed to the bassinet. A swarm of nurses I had never seen came sprinting down the hall. The doctor quickly cut the cord. And then I finally heard Laura cry. I had not even seen the tiniest glimpse of her. Laura was fine - some fluid in her lungs that was quickly cleared. I fretted for the next eternity while they completed the agpar tests on Laura and got me cleaned up. It was probably 30 minutes. It felt like a lifetime. All I wanted was to hold my baby. Nate kept showing me pictures of her on the camera; I wasn't sure if that helped or made it worse.
Finally, after ages of waiting, they let me hold my Laura Rose. And here's where my expectations were disappointed once again. I had expected that I would hold her and feel a rush of emotions surge through me. My stomach would drop or something like that. I would feel like a mother. I took Laura in my arms and felt... nothing. She was just a really cute baby that I was holding. I took her to my breast, and while the sensation of sucking was a totally new feeling for me, I still didn't feel anything for the baby.
For the first weeks, I was weepy and emotional - all common for new moms. I still had trouble relating to Laura, but I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing really well. I knew when she was hungry, tired, wet. I could calm her down. But I just couldn't feel that motherly love toward her. I faked it really well to friends and family. But I relished the 15 minutes I spent in the shower every day. Laura might be crying, but no baby ever cried herself to death, right?
And then I started hearing her cry. And I started hearing the dryer buzz that it was finished, even though there wasn't a load in. And I started feeling panicked every time I heard those noises - real or imagined.
And then it was four weeks later. Six weeks later. Eight weeks later. And I was still emotional. Still aloof. Laura frustrated me more than anything. I couldn't wait to get back to work. Going back to work would make everything better. I'd have adult time. I'd have a quiet train ride. I'd have day care to watch that baby for most of the week.
But when I went back to work, things only got worse. I was more tired (understandably). I felt guilty for leaving Laura with strangers. I felt guilty for wanting to leave her with strangers. I couldn't focus on work. I HATED certain co-workers and started whispering to myself "I hate you" every time I walked by their desks. Not a really healthy way to act. The worst part though, was smiling sympathetically and saying, "Oh yes, I miss Laura so much" and "Laura is doing great!" any time someone asked after her. I was lying to everyone - it was miserable. Worse than anything else was breastfeeding. My supply was virtually non-existent. Laura and I were both frustrated, and she was drinking more and more formula as I failed to deliver.
So one weekend when we were all out to dinner for my brother-in-law's graduation, I had a few drinks. I got a little drunk. And it felt gooooood. I felt like myself again! And that was the scariest thing I've ever felt. I do not ever want to have to drink to feel like myself. That's when I called my OB for help.
That was in May. In the months that have followed, I have learned a lot about Post Partum Depression. I have learned that it affects an enormous number of women. I have learned that it can show up in many forms. It can be completely dibilitating. Mine wasn't severe and has been easily treated. And yet I keep coming back to Laura's birth story.
Through counseling and soul-searching, I have come to realize that at least a small part of my depression occurred in those few seconds that Laura wasn't breathing. I shut down. I didn't want to give my heart away, only to lose it so soon. In those few seconds I didn't know I was closing myself against Laura, but I was. I never gave her a chance. I look at her now, and feel that swelling of love and emotion that I had expected to feel so much sooner. I look at Laura and just LOVE her so much! And it's the best feeling in the world! She's mine! I'm hers!!!
So, would I change anything? No. I would still get the pitocin. I would still get the epidural. Actually, I'd get the epidural sooner. At the time, I felt very comfortable with the decisions I made. No regrets. It's possible that Laura had fluid in her lungs as a result of the medical interventions. But like I said, I wouldn't change a thing about Laura's birth. There is one thing I would change: I would seek help sooner.
I know this has been lengthy, but I don't want any of your moms to go through what I have. My PPD was not severe in the least, but it was a part of my life for too long. Give hugs to your moms. And if you ever want a show and tell with a 7-month-old, Laura and I are just around the corner!
LOTS of love,
C
Hi ___,
I've been meaning to write to you for a few weeks now in regards to the first 6 months with Laura. My birth story email to you and the yoga moms was written almost as soon as I got home from the hospital back in January. I'm sure it was over-populated with exclamation points; if I had it to write over again, it would be exactly the same. That first week is such a haze of exhaustion, only exclamation points will do! For me, however, my dazed weeks stretched into months. Seven months and two weeks later, I would like to revise my story a little.
Laura's birth story is still the same. My water broke at 2:04. I received pitocin six hours later. I begged for an epidural six hours after that. I pushed for one hour, and then Laura was born. Here's where my revised story begins.
I was expecting Laura to pop out, cry, and be placed all gooey on my chest. I expected Nate to cut her cord. Instead, when Laura came out, she was rushed to the bassinet. A swarm of nurses I had never seen came sprinting down the hall. The doctor quickly cut the cord. And then I finally heard Laura cry. I had not even seen the tiniest glimpse of her. Laura was fine - some fluid in her lungs that was quickly cleared. I fretted for the next eternity while they completed the agpar tests on Laura and got me cleaned up. It was probably 30 minutes. It felt like a lifetime. All I wanted was to hold my baby. Nate kept showing me pictures of her on the camera; I wasn't sure if that helped or made it worse.
Finally, after ages of waiting, they let me hold my Laura Rose. And here's where my expectations were disappointed once again. I had expected that I would hold her and feel a rush of emotions surge through me. My stomach would drop or something like that. I would feel like a mother. I took Laura in my arms and felt... nothing. She was just a really cute baby that I was holding. I took her to my breast, and while the sensation of sucking was a totally new feeling for me, I still didn't feel anything for the baby.
For the first weeks, I was weepy and emotional - all common for new moms. I still had trouble relating to Laura, but I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing really well. I knew when she was hungry, tired, wet. I could calm her down. But I just couldn't feel that motherly love toward her. I faked it really well to friends and family. But I relished the 15 minutes I spent in the shower every day. Laura might be crying, but no baby ever cried herself to death, right?
And then I started hearing her cry. And I started hearing the dryer buzz that it was finished, even though there wasn't a load in. And I started feeling panicked every time I heard those noises - real or imagined.
And then it was four weeks later. Six weeks later. Eight weeks later. And I was still emotional. Still aloof. Laura frustrated me more than anything. I couldn't wait to get back to work. Going back to work would make everything better. I'd have adult time. I'd have a quiet train ride. I'd have day care to watch that baby for most of the week.
But when I went back to work, things only got worse. I was more tired (understandably). I felt guilty for leaving Laura with strangers. I felt guilty for wanting to leave her with strangers. I couldn't focus on work. I HATED certain co-workers and started whispering to myself "I hate you" every time I walked by their desks. Not a really healthy way to act. The worst part though, was smiling sympathetically and saying, "Oh yes, I miss Laura so much" and "Laura is doing great!" any time someone asked after her. I was lying to everyone - it was miserable. Worse than anything else was breastfeeding. My supply was virtually non-existent. Laura and I were both frustrated, and she was drinking more and more formula as I failed to deliver.
So one weekend when we were all out to dinner for my brother-in-law's graduation, I had a few drinks. I got a little drunk. And it felt gooooood. I felt like myself again! And that was the scariest thing I've ever felt. I do not ever want to have to drink to feel like myself. That's when I called my OB for help.
That was in May. In the months that have followed, I have learned a lot about Post Partum Depression. I have learned that it affects an enormous number of women. I have learned that it can show up in many forms. It can be completely dibilitating. Mine wasn't severe and has been easily treated. And yet I keep coming back to Laura's birth story.
Through counseling and soul-searching, I have come to realize that at least a small part of my depression occurred in those few seconds that Laura wasn't breathing. I shut down. I didn't want to give my heart away, only to lose it so soon. In those few seconds I didn't know I was closing myself against Laura, but I was. I never gave her a chance. I look at her now, and feel that swelling of love and emotion that I had expected to feel so much sooner. I look at Laura and just LOVE her so much! And it's the best feeling in the world! She's mine! I'm hers!!!
So, would I change anything? No. I would still get the pitocin. I would still get the epidural. Actually, I'd get the epidural sooner. At the time, I felt very comfortable with the decisions I made. No regrets. It's possible that Laura had fluid in her lungs as a result of the medical interventions. But like I said, I wouldn't change a thing about Laura's birth. There is one thing I would change: I would seek help sooner.
I know this has been lengthy, but I don't want any of your moms to go through what I have. My PPD was not severe in the least, but it was a part of my life for too long. Give hugs to your moms. And if you ever want a show and tell with a 7-month-old, Laura and I are just around the corner!
LOTS of love,
C
Laura's Birth: A revisionist story
For the last few nights, I've lain in bed, awake, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the birth story I typed out just days after Laura was born. It was the product of exhaustion and relief. Relief that the baby was finally here, and that I was no longer pregnant. But happiness and excitement? Looking back, I don't remember those feelings at all. I had written that story in part for me, but also for the prenatal yoga class I had taken for almost the entirety of my pregnancy. So this morning I revised my birth story and sent the following to my wonderful yoga instructor, in hopes that the moms she is seeing now can learn from my experiences with PPD.
Hi ___,
I've been meaning to write to you for a few weeks now in regards to the first 6 months with Laura. My birth story email to you and the yoga moms was written almost as soon as I got home from the hospital back in January. I'm sure it was over-populated with exclamation points; if I had it to write over again, it would be exactly the same. That first week is such a haze of exhaustion, only exclamation points will do! For me, however, my dazed weeks stretched into months. Seven months and two weeks later, I would like to revise my story a little.
Laura's birth story is still the same. My water broke at 2:04. I received pitocin six hours later. I begged for an epidural six hours after that. I pushed for one hour, and then Laura was born. Here's where my revised story begins.
I was expecting Laura to pop out, cry, and be placed all gooey on my chest. I expected Nate to cut her cord. Instead, when Laura came out, she was rushed to the bassinet. A swarm of nurses I had never seen came sprinting down the hall. The doctor quickly cut the cord. And then I finally heard Laura cry. I had not even seen the tiniest glimpse of her. Laura was fine - some fluid in her lungs that was quickly cleared. I fretted for the next eternity while they completed the agpar tests on Laura and got me cleaned up. It was probably 30 minutes. It felt like a lifetime. All I wanted was to hold my baby. Nate kept showing me pictures of her on the camera; I wasn't sure if that helped or made it worse.
Finally, after ages of waiting, they let me hold my Laura Rose. And here's where my expectations were disappointed once again. I had expected that I would hold her and feel a rush of emotions surge through me. My stomach would drop or something like that. I would feel like a mother. I took Laura in my arms and felt... nothing. She was just a really cute baby that I was holding. I took her to my breast, and while the sensation of sucking was a totally new feeling for me, I still didn't feel anything for the baby.
For the first weeks, I was weepy and emotional - all common for new moms. I still had trouble relating to Laura, but I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing really well. I knew when she was hungry, tired, wet. I could calm her down. But I just couldn't feel that motherly love toward her. I faked it really well to friends and family. But I relished the 15 minutes I spent in the shower every day. Laura might be crying, but no baby ever cried herself to death, right?
And then I started hearing her cry. And I started hearing the dryer buzz that it was finished, even though there wasn't a load in. And I started feeling panicked every time I heard those noises - real or imagined.
And then it was four weeks later. Six weeks later. Eight weeks later. And I was still emotional. Still aloof. Laura frustrated me more than anything. I couldn't wait to get back to work. Going back to work would make everything better. I'd have adult time. I'd have a quiet train ride. I'd have day care to watch that baby for most of the week.
But when I went back to work, things only got worse. I was more tired (understandably). I felt guilty for leaving Laura with strangers. I felt guilty for wanting to leave her with strangers. I couldn't focus on work. I HATED certain co-workers and started whispering to myself "I hate you" every time I walked by their desks. Not a really healthy way to act. The worst part though, was smiling sympathetically and saying, "Oh yes, I miss Laura so much" and "Laura is doing great!" any time someone asked after her. I was lying to everyone - it was miserable. Worse than anything else was breastfeeding. My supply was virtually non-existent. Laura and I were both frustrated, and she was drinking more and more formula as I failed to deliver.
So one weekend when we were all out to dinner for my brother-in-law's graduation, I had a few drinks. I got a little drunk. And it felt gooooood. I felt like myself again! And that was the scariest thing I've ever felt. I do not ever want to have to drink to feel like myself. That's when I called my OB for help.
That was in May. In the months that have followed, I have learned a lot about Post Partum Depression. I have learned that it affects an enormous number of women. I have learned that it can show up in many forms. It can be completely dibilitating. Mine wasn't severe and has been easily treated. And yet I keep coming back to Laura's birth story.
Through counseling and soul-searching, I have come to realize that at least a small part of my depression occurred in those few seconds that Laura wasn't breathing. I shut down. I didn't want to give my heart away, only to lose it so soon. In those few seconds I didn't know I was closing myself against Laura, but I was. I never gave her a chance. I look at her now, and feel that swelling of love and emotion that I had expected to feel so much sooner. I look at Laura and just LOVE her so much! And it's the best feeling in the world! She's mine! I'm hers!!!
So, would I change anything? No. I would still get the pitocin. I would still get the epidural. Actually, I'd get the epidural sooner. At the time, I felt very comfortable with the decisions I made. No regrets. It's possible that Laura had fluid in her lungs as a result of the medical interventions. But like I said, I wouldn't change a thing about Laura's birth. There is one thing I would change: I would seek help sooner.
I know this has been lengthy, but I don't want any of your moms to go through what I have. My PPD was not severe in the least, but it was a part of my life for too long. Give hugs to your moms. And if you ever want a show and tell with a 7-month-old, Laura and I are just around the corner!
LOTS of love,
C
Hi ___,
I've been meaning to write to you for a few weeks now in regards to the first 6 months with Laura. My birth story email to you and the yoga moms was written almost as soon as I got home from the hospital back in January. I'm sure it was over-populated with exclamation points; if I had it to write over again, it would be exactly the same. That first week is such a haze of exhaustion, only exclamation points will do! For me, however, my dazed weeks stretched into months. Seven months and two weeks later, I would like to revise my story a little.
Laura's birth story is still the same. My water broke at 2:04. I received pitocin six hours later. I begged for an epidural six hours after that. I pushed for one hour, and then Laura was born. Here's where my revised story begins.
I was expecting Laura to pop out, cry, and be placed all gooey on my chest. I expected Nate to cut her cord. Instead, when Laura came out, she was rushed to the bassinet. A swarm of nurses I had never seen came sprinting down the hall. The doctor quickly cut the cord. And then I finally heard Laura cry. I had not even seen the tiniest glimpse of her. Laura was fine - some fluid in her lungs that was quickly cleared. I fretted for the next eternity while they completed the agpar tests on Laura and got me cleaned up. It was probably 30 minutes. It felt like a lifetime. All I wanted was to hold my baby. Nate kept showing me pictures of her on the camera; I wasn't sure if that helped or made it worse.
Finally, after ages of waiting, they let me hold my Laura Rose. And here's where my expectations were disappointed once again. I had expected that I would hold her and feel a rush of emotions surge through me. My stomach would drop or something like that. I would feel like a mother. I took Laura in my arms and felt... nothing. She was just a really cute baby that I was holding. I took her to my breast, and while the sensation of sucking was a totally new feeling for me, I still didn't feel anything for the baby.
For the first weeks, I was weepy and emotional - all common for new moms. I still had trouble relating to Laura, but I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing really well. I knew when she was hungry, tired, wet. I could calm her down. But I just couldn't feel that motherly love toward her. I faked it really well to friends and family. But I relished the 15 minutes I spent in the shower every day. Laura might be crying, but no baby ever cried herself to death, right?
And then I started hearing her cry. And I started hearing the dryer buzz that it was finished, even though there wasn't a load in. And I started feeling panicked every time I heard those noises - real or imagined.
And then it was four weeks later. Six weeks later. Eight weeks later. And I was still emotional. Still aloof. Laura frustrated me more than anything. I couldn't wait to get back to work. Going back to work would make everything better. I'd have adult time. I'd have a quiet train ride. I'd have day care to watch that baby for most of the week.
But when I went back to work, things only got worse. I was more tired (understandably). I felt guilty for leaving Laura with strangers. I felt guilty for wanting to leave her with strangers. I couldn't focus on work. I HATED certain co-workers and started whispering to myself "I hate you" every time I walked by their desks. Not a really healthy way to act. The worst part though, was smiling sympathetically and saying, "Oh yes, I miss Laura so much" and "Laura is doing great!" any time someone asked after her. I was lying to everyone - it was miserable. Worse than anything else was breastfeeding. My supply was virtually non-existent. Laura and I were both frustrated, and she was drinking more and more formula as I failed to deliver.
So one weekend when we were all out to dinner for my brother-in-law's graduation, I had a few drinks. I got a little drunk. And it felt gooooood. I felt like myself again! And that was the scariest thing I've ever felt. I do not ever want to have to drink to feel like myself. That's when I called my OB for help.
That was in May. In the months that have followed, I have learned a lot about Post Partum Depression. I have learned that it affects an enormous number of women. I have learned that it can show up in many forms. It can be completely dibilitating. Mine wasn't severe and has been easily treated. And yet I keep coming back to Laura's birth story.
Through counseling and soul-searching, I have come to realize that at least a small part of my depression occurred in those few seconds that Laura wasn't breathing. I shut down. I didn't want to give my heart away, only to lose it so soon. In those few seconds I didn't know I was closing myself against Laura, but I was. I never gave her a chance. I look at her now, and feel that swelling of love and emotion that I had expected to feel so much sooner. I look at Laura and just LOVE her so much! And it's the best feeling in the world! She's mine! I'm hers!!!
So, would I change anything? No. I would still get the pitocin. I would still get the epidural. Actually, I'd get the epidural sooner. At the time, I felt very comfortable with the decisions I made. No regrets. It's possible that Laura had fluid in her lungs as a result of the medical interventions. But like I said, I wouldn't change a thing about Laura's birth. There is one thing I would change: I would seek help sooner.
I know this has been lengthy, but I don't want any of your moms to go through what I have. My PPD was not severe in the least, but it was a part of my life for too long. Give hugs to your moms. And if you ever want a show and tell with a 7-month-old, Laura and I are just around the corner!
LOTS of love,
C
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
True Blood Tuesday
**Serious Spoilers Ahead!**
Ok, obviously the HBO show has little to do with the books at this point. I am guessing that the show will not even touch on the vampire convention - which was my favorite of the books. Alas, we will not be seeing more of Eric and less of Bill.
But that's ok. I've decided to treat the books and the show as completely separate entities. This is necessary, anyway, since the whole story behind Claudine and Fae world has been completely butchered. But I digress. I typed up the following notes while watching the season finale (note in italics). If one is to treat the show as it's own being, in a vacuum, with no relation to the books. I did actually like this season. And I liked this episode!
Godric to Eric: Forgiveness is love. Love is all.
Loved this line. These are words to live by. And I think I'll try that. Maybe.
Sookie to Russell: Your word's worth about as much as tits on a turtle
Ha! Another great line! I only wish I could pull that off. Like "Y'all." I wish I could pull that one off too.
Sookie may have enjoyed pulverizing Talbot's, er, remains a bit too much
What was with that demonic look on her face? OK, fine. APaq might not be the best actress in the world, but she's not usually that bad, is she?
Sookie to Alcide: When am I not in trouble?
Isn't that the truth, sister!
Lip quiver is killing me! But I like the new hair, kinda.
Do I like the new hair? Maybe? I can't decide. You know what I do not like? The freaking lip quiver. I hope that Tara driving off into the night means we won't have to see her anymore. Or maybe HBO will take a cue from the Soap Opera world and just recast her.
HOLY WHAT?!!!! BILL! OMG! Did not see that one coming. AT. ALL.
When did Bill become so devious? That whole scenario just didn't make sense to me. And... and... and... I just don't even have a reaction, really.
Love the Queen's dress! Like OMG!
Wouldn't I look cute in that? Oh, thanks! You guys are so sweet! You know what I didn't love? The stupid rising into the air before attacking move.
Poof!
Does this mean we can see more of the Fae world? I half hope so, and half hope not. If we can meet the grandfather, I will like it (I think).
So. That's it. We have to wait another whole year to find out what happens with Sookie and her crew. Let's just hope things start to look up for poor, sweet Lafayette.
Ok, obviously the HBO show has little to do with the books at this point. I am guessing that the show will not even touch on the vampire convention - which was my favorite of the books. Alas, we will not be seeing more of Eric and less of Bill.
But that's ok. I've decided to treat the books and the show as completely separate entities. This is necessary, anyway, since the whole story behind Claudine and Fae world has been completely butchered. But I digress. I typed up the following notes while watching the season finale (note in italics). If one is to treat the show as it's own being, in a vacuum, with no relation to the books. I did actually like this season. And I liked this episode!
Godric to Eric: Forgiveness is love. Love is all.
Loved this line. These are words to live by. And I think I'll try that. Maybe.
Sookie to Russell: Your word's worth about as much as tits on a turtle
Ha! Another great line! I only wish I could pull that off. Like "Y'all." I wish I could pull that one off too.
Sookie may have enjoyed pulverizing Talbot's, er, remains a bit too much
What was with that demonic look on her face? OK, fine. APaq might not be the best actress in the world, but she's not usually that bad, is she?
Sookie to Alcide: When am I not in trouble?
Isn't that the truth, sister!
Lip quiver is killing me! But I like the new hair, kinda.
Do I like the new hair? Maybe? I can't decide. You know what I do not like? The freaking lip quiver. I hope that Tara driving off into the night means we won't have to see her anymore. Or maybe HBO will take a cue from the Soap Opera world and just recast her.
HOLY WHAT?!!!! BILL! OMG! Did not see that one coming. AT. ALL.
When did Bill become so devious? That whole scenario just didn't make sense to me. And... and... and... I just don't even have a reaction, really.
Love the Queen's dress! Like OMG!
Wouldn't I look cute in that? Oh, thanks! You guys are so sweet! You know what I didn't love? The stupid rising into the air before attacking move.
Poof!
Does this mean we can see more of the Fae world? I half hope so, and half hope not. If we can meet the grandfather, I will like it (I think).
So. That's it. We have to wait another whole year to find out what happens with Sookie and her crew. Let's just hope things start to look up for poor, sweet Lafayette.
True Blood Tuesday
**Serious Spoilers Ahead!**
Ok, obviously the HBO show has little to do with the books at this point. I am guessing that the show will not even touch on the vampire convention - which was my favorite of the books. Alas, we will not be seeing more of Eric and less of Bill.
But that's ok. I've decided to treat the books and the show as completely separate entities. This is necessary, anyway, since the whole story behind Claudine and Fae world has been completely butchered. But I digress. I typed up the following notes while watching the season finale (note in italics). If one is to treat the show as it's own being, in a vacuum, with no relation to the books. I did actually like this season. And I liked this episode!
Godric to Eric: Forgiveness is love. Love is all.
Loved this line. These are words to live by. And I think I'll try that. Maybe.
Sookie to Russell: Your word's worth about as much as tits on a turtle
Ha! Another great line! I only wish I could pull that off. Like "Y'all." I wish I could pull that one off too.
Sookie may have enjoyed pulverizing Talbot's, er, remains a bit too much
What was with that demonic look on her face? OK, fine. APaq might not be the best actress in the world, but she's not usually that bad, is she?
Sookie to Alcide: When am I not in trouble?
Isn't that the truth, sister!
Lip quiver is killing me! But I like the new hair, kinda.
Do I like the new hair? Maybe? I can't decide. You know what I do not like? The freaking lip quiver. I hope that Tara driving off into the night means we won't have to see her anymore. Or maybe HBO will take a cue from the Soap Opera world and just recast her.
HOLY WHAT?!!!! BILL! OMG! Did not see that one coming. AT. ALL.
When did Bill become so devious? That whole scenario just didn't make sense to me. And... and... and... I just don't even have a reaction, really.
Love the Queen's dress! Like OMG!
Wouldn't I look cute in that? Oh, thanks! You guys are so sweet! You know what I didn't love? The stupid rising into the air before attacking move.
Poof!
Does this mean we can see more of the Fae world? I half hope so, and half hope not. If we can meet the grandfather, I will like it (I think).
So. That's it. We have to wait another whole year to find out what happens with Sookie and her crew. Let's just hope things start to look up for poor, sweet Lafayette.
Ok, obviously the HBO show has little to do with the books at this point. I am guessing that the show will not even touch on the vampire convention - which was my favorite of the books. Alas, we will not be seeing more of Eric and less of Bill.
But that's ok. I've decided to treat the books and the show as completely separate entities. This is necessary, anyway, since the whole story behind Claudine and Fae world has been completely butchered. But I digress. I typed up the following notes while watching the season finale (note in italics). If one is to treat the show as it's own being, in a vacuum, with no relation to the books. I did actually like this season. And I liked this episode!
Godric to Eric: Forgiveness is love. Love is all.
Loved this line. These are words to live by. And I think I'll try that. Maybe.
Sookie to Russell: Your word's worth about as much as tits on a turtle
Ha! Another great line! I only wish I could pull that off. Like "Y'all." I wish I could pull that one off too.
Sookie may have enjoyed pulverizing Talbot's, er, remains a bit too much
What was with that demonic look on her face? OK, fine. APaq might not be the best actress in the world, but she's not usually that bad, is she?
Sookie to Alcide: When am I not in trouble?
Isn't that the truth, sister!
Lip quiver is killing me! But I like the new hair, kinda.
Do I like the new hair? Maybe? I can't decide. You know what I do not like? The freaking lip quiver. I hope that Tara driving off into the night means we won't have to see her anymore. Or maybe HBO will take a cue from the Soap Opera world and just recast her.
HOLY WHAT?!!!! BILL! OMG! Did not see that one coming. AT. ALL.
When did Bill become so devious? That whole scenario just didn't make sense to me. And... and... and... I just don't even have a reaction, really.
Love the Queen's dress! Like OMG!
Wouldn't I look cute in that? Oh, thanks! You guys are so sweet! You know what I didn't love? The stupid rising into the air before attacking move.
Poof!
Does this mean we can see more of the Fae world? I half hope so, and half hope not. If we can meet the grandfather, I will like it (I think).
So. That's it. We have to wait another whole year to find out what happens with Sookie and her crew. Let's just hope things start to look up for poor, sweet Lafayette.
Monday, September 13, 2010
McFatty Monday
So the lady at the CVS Minute Clinic swore up and down on Thursday that I didn't have strep. And that my tonsils were just that huge. And that those white patches were totally normal. And that ears will sometimes hurt when tonsils are that huge. And that everything should clear up with some tea, honey and gargling.
Hrumph.
So I guess I don't have strep. But I do have a very sore throat and am feeling pretty miserable. On the other hand, I haven't had much appetite. Even when I am hungry, it hurts too much to swallow! So I'm taking this as a week to let my poor little throat heal. And maybe this is what I needed to kick-start shrinking my stomach to a normal size so I'm not so freaking hungry all.the.time.
Hello, Monday. It's nice to see you too.
Hrumph.
So I guess I don't have strep. But I do have a very sore throat and am feeling pretty miserable. On the other hand, I haven't had much appetite. Even when I am hungry, it hurts too much to swallow! So I'm taking this as a week to let my poor little throat heal. And maybe this is what I needed to kick-start shrinking my stomach to a normal size so I'm not so freaking hungry all.the.time.
Hello, Monday. It's nice to see you too.
McFatty Monday
So the lady at the CVS Minute Clinic swore up and down on Thursday that I didn't have strep. And that my tonsils were just that huge. And that those white patches were totally normal. And that ears will sometimes hurt when tonsils are that huge. And that everything should clear up with some tea, honey and gargling.
Hrumph.
So I guess I don't have strep. But I do have a very sore throat and am feeling pretty miserable. On the other hand, I haven't had much appetite. Even when I am hungry, it hurts too much to swallow! So I'm taking this as a week to let my poor little throat heal. And maybe this is what I needed to kick-start shrinking my stomach to a normal size so I'm not so freaking hungry all.the.time.
Hello, Monday. It's nice to see you too.
Hrumph.
So I guess I don't have strep. But I do have a very sore throat and am feeling pretty miserable. On the other hand, I haven't had much appetite. Even when I am hungry, it hurts too much to swallow! So I'm taking this as a week to let my poor little throat heal. And maybe this is what I needed to kick-start shrinking my stomach to a normal size so I'm not so freaking hungry all.the.time.
Hello, Monday. It's nice to see you too.
Friday, September 10, 2010
TV of my childhood
My brothers and I watched countless hours of Gilligan's Island when we were kids. It was on in the afternoon, opposite Mr. Rogers. And since my mother despises Mr. Rogers with every fiber of her being, bet you can guess which she turned the TV to!
And you might wonder, "Um. Gilligan's Island? Really?" Because people have asked me that question more times than I can remember. But you know what? We lived on a beach. This was fantastic fuel for our Gilligan-inspired imaginings on the beach!
You might see a random brick pilfered from a lobster trap. We saw a coconut radio. You see beach chairs? We saw palm-thatched huts. We had HOURS of fun playing on the beach. My older brother was always the professor. I was usually Ginger and MaryAnn all at the same time. My younger brother was Gilligan, because he was too little to do anything anyway.
So when my mom emailed me this YouTube mix of the Gilligan's Island theme set to the tune of Stairway To Heaven, I was rolling on the floor laughing and fondly remembering the beach of my childhood.
And you know what? It was a very happy childhood.
TV of my childhood
My brothers and I watched countless hours of Gilligan's Island when we were kids. It was on in the afternoon, opposite Mr. Rogers. And since my mother despises Mr. Rogers with every fiber of her being, bet you can guess which she turned the TV to!
And you might wonder, "Um. Gilligan's Island? Really?" Because people have asked me that question more times than I can remember. But you know what? We lived on a beach. This was fantastic fuel for our Gilligan-inspired imaginings on the beach!
You might see a random brick pilfered from a lobster trap. We saw a coconut radio. You see beach chairs? We saw palm-thatched huts. We had HOURS of fun playing on the beach. My older brother was always the professor. I was usually Ginger and MaryAnn all at the same time. My younger brother was Gilligan, because he was too little to do anything anyway.
So when my mom emailed me this YouTube mix of the Gilligan's Island theme set to the tune of Stairway To Heaven, I was rolling on the floor laughing and fondly remembering the beach of my childhood.
And you know what? It was a very happy childhood.
Advice for expectant mothers
Do your Kegels.
Because they will help you push out the baby, right? No. If you're looking for something to help you squeeze the cutest little watermelon you've ever seen through your lady bits, Kegels won't help you. Look into some pregnancy safe Pilates moves instead. Something about core muscles or something. I wouldn't know. I sat on my butt and ate ice cream for 9 months.
So, if not for pushing... Kegels will help your lady bits return to normal faster, right? So hubby can get some much needed, ahem, attention? Sorry, wrong again. The only thing that will help your poor, defenseless lady bits to recovery is time and lube. Lots of lube. LOTS.
So now you're wondering. Why the freaking Kegels. So that you won't feel like an old man with an enlarged prostate 7 months and 2 weeks AFTER you give birth. Seriously. I have to pee almost every hour during the day. And my bedtime routine is ridiculous:
Pee.
Wash hands.
Remove contacts.
Brush teeth.
Pee.
Put on jammies.
Run downstairs for the bajillion things I forgot. Like my phone/alarm clock.
Pee.
Straighten the pillows just so.
Pee.
Climb into bed.
Lay awake for about 8 minutes.
Pee.
You read that correctly. I pee at least 5 times every night in the span of 15 minutes! Last night was the worst yet... but perhaps I shouldn't have had 4 cups of tea with dinner. So please, pregnant ladies, do your Kegels!
Because they will help you push out the baby, right? No. If you're looking for something to help you squeeze the cutest little watermelon you've ever seen through your lady bits, Kegels won't help you. Look into some pregnancy safe Pilates moves instead. Something about core muscles or something. I wouldn't know. I sat on my butt and ate ice cream for 9 months.
So, if not for pushing... Kegels will help your lady bits return to normal faster, right? So hubby can get some much needed, ahem, attention? Sorry, wrong again. The only thing that will help your poor, defenseless lady bits to recovery is time and lube. Lots of lube. LOTS.
So now you're wondering. Why the freaking Kegels. So that you won't feel like an old man with an enlarged prostate 7 months and 2 weeks AFTER you give birth. Seriously. I have to pee almost every hour during the day. And my bedtime routine is ridiculous:
Pee.
Wash hands.
Remove contacts.
Brush teeth.
Pee.
Put on jammies.
Run downstairs for the bajillion things I forgot. Like my phone/alarm clock.
Pee.
Straighten the pillows just so.
Pee.
Climb into bed.
Lay awake for about 8 minutes.
Pee.
You read that correctly. I pee at least 5 times every night in the span of 15 minutes! Last night was the worst yet... but perhaps I shouldn't have had 4 cups of tea with dinner. So please, pregnant ladies, do your Kegels!
Advice for expectant mothers
Do your Kegels.
Because they will help you push out the baby, right? No. If you're looking for something to help you squeeze the cutest little watermelon you've ever seen through your lady bits, Kegels won't help you. Look into some pregnancy safe Pilates moves instead. Something about core muscles or something. I wouldn't know. I sat on my butt and ate ice cream for 9 months.
So, if not for pushing... Kegels will help your lady bits return to normal faster, right? So hubby can get some much needed, ahem, attention? Sorry, wrong again. The only thing that will help your poor, defenseless lady bits to recovery is time and lube. Lots of lube. LOTS.
So now you're wondering. Why the freaking Kegels. So that you won't feel like an old man with an enlarged prostate 7 months and 2 weeks AFTER you give birth. Seriously. I have to pee almost every hour during the day. And my bedtime routine is ridiculous:
Pee.
Wash hands.
Remove contacts.
Brush teeth.
Pee.
Put on jammies.
Run downstairs for the bajillion things I forgot. Like my phone/alarm clock.
Pee.
Straighten the pillows just so.
Pee.
Climb into bed.
Lay awake for about 8 minutes.
Pee.
You read that correctly. I pee at least 5 times every night in the span of 15 minutes! Last night was the worst yet... but perhaps I shouldn't have had 4 cups of tea with dinner. So please, pregnant ladies, do your Kegels!
Because they will help you push out the baby, right? No. If you're looking for something to help you squeeze the cutest little watermelon you've ever seen through your lady bits, Kegels won't help you. Look into some pregnancy safe Pilates moves instead. Something about core muscles or something. I wouldn't know. I sat on my butt and ate ice cream for 9 months.
So, if not for pushing... Kegels will help your lady bits return to normal faster, right? So hubby can get some much needed, ahem, attention? Sorry, wrong again. The only thing that will help your poor, defenseless lady bits to recovery is time and lube. Lots of lube. LOTS.
So now you're wondering. Why the freaking Kegels. So that you won't feel like an old man with an enlarged prostate 7 months and 2 weeks AFTER you give birth. Seriously. I have to pee almost every hour during the day. And my bedtime routine is ridiculous:
Pee.
Wash hands.
Remove contacts.
Brush teeth.
Pee.
Put on jammies.
Run downstairs for the bajillion things I forgot. Like my phone/alarm clock.
Pee.
Straighten the pillows just so.
Pee.
Climb into bed.
Lay awake for about 8 minutes.
Pee.
You read that correctly. I pee at least 5 times every night in the span of 15 minutes! Last night was the worst yet... but perhaps I shouldn't have had 4 cups of tea with dinner. So please, pregnant ladies, do your Kegels!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Wedding Wordless Wednesday
I just thought this was the cutest wedding reception idea ever!
Guests could take as many of these as they wished to wait on line for. The bride and groom got one copy of each set, and the guests got the second copy to take home!
And yes. That is my leg in the bottom picture. I'm flexible like that.
Wedding Wordless Wednesday
I just thought this was the cutest wedding reception idea ever!
Guests could take as many of these as they wished to wait on line for. The bride and groom got one copy of each set, and the guests got the second copy to take home!
And yes. That is my leg in the bottom picture. I'm flexible like that.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Hello Fall!
And yet some things never change. The dog still isn't eating (jealous of the baby? Bored? Heartworm??). I'm still fat. And I forgot that yesterday was Monday, so I didn't do a McFatty post for you. Want that update? I ate an insane amount of food the whole past week. I'm terribly bloated. I'm ready for some sort of cleanse. Which I'm achieving through a breakfast of oatmeal and chamomile tea. Maybe if I only ate oatmeal for the rest of my life I'd lose some weight!
That may or may not be a good idea. Regardless, I already have an extremely delicious (and fattening) chicken curry ready for dinner tonight.
Looking for something fun to do on this sad Tuesday after Labor Day? Head on over to Kit's blog for a writing assignment! And pass me a pumpkin beer. I'm ready for fall.
Hello Fall!
And yet some things never change. The dog still isn't eating (jealous of the baby? Bored? Heartworm??). I'm still fat. And I forgot that yesterday was Monday, so I didn't do a McFatty post for you. Want that update? I ate an insane amount of food the whole past week. I'm terribly bloated. I'm ready for some sort of cleanse. Which I'm achieving through a breakfast of oatmeal and chamomile tea. Maybe if I only ate oatmeal for the rest of my life I'd lose some weight!
That may or may not be a good idea. Regardless, I already have an extremely delicious (and fattening) chicken curry ready for dinner tonight.
Looking for something fun to do on this sad Tuesday after Labor Day? Head on over to Kit's blog for a writing assignment! And pass me a pumpkin beer. I'm ready for fall.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
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