Saturday, October 13, 2012


It's funny how a song can take you back to a single, specific memory.  I'm sitting at work on a Saturday, trying to comp some hours after a week in the Bahamas.  I'm doing some dull work - stuff that I normally try to avoid.  I have Pandora playing in the background to keep me going.

The music I turned on was meant to break the silence of a loud air vent, the scratch of my pencil, the occasional shriek of the paper cutter, the whir of the scanner.  Instead the music is flooding my mind with images and memories, one song at a time.

Hey Jealousy: 6th grade and my favorite song.  I was just becoming shy.  But I was also beginning to assert myself as a person with preferences and favorites.  To this day, I still love that red kilt that I wore weekly everyone else teased me about.  My fashion was ahead of my time.  My big brother gave me the CD for my birthday, validating my taste in music and allowing me to feel confident in some small way.

Only Wanna Be with You: that summer before my big brother went off the college.  The one where I asserted myself as the tag-along little sister in his group of friends.  A move that has shaped my life.

Closing Time: Laughing with that same brother over the line, "finish your whisky and beer" for some inside joke I still don't understand.

The Wall: Cruising around in my big brother's brand new Jetta late at night with the windows down, letting the damp salty air kiss our faces.  We talked so much as we drove to nowhere.

When I turned on Pandora this morning, I wasn't expecting this walk down memory lane.  Indeed, with a station called "Road Trippin' Radio," I guess I was expecting my 70's and 80's classic rock, and less 90's  memory lane.

Five years and a few months ago, I married a man I would never have met if I hadn't been that tag-along little sister.  Five years ago today, I stood with my husband, my brother, and their mutual best friend as my big brother got married.  How perfect that I've had these flashes of memory all day of my big brother with whom I have shared so much.  I'm so lucky to have a big brother, as well as a little brother and little sister, who have shaped my life so much.