Un-Shy

I didn't used to be shy.  Way back in the day.  I used to just put myself out there to make friends without hesitation.  And then we moved.  I rallied, made great friendships, and knew I wasn't shy.  And then we moved again.  Suddenly, it wasn't so easy to make friends.  Suddenly, I wasn't as confident that making friends - and ties to this new town - were the best idea.  I was afraid to put myself on the line; I was afraid of the possibility that people might not like me or want to be my friend.  So I hid inside myself, and was suddenly shy.

But shy isn't the right word.  I know in my heart that I'm not really a shy person.  In my heart, I am loud and confident and ready to include everyone! in everything!  I want to have lots of friends.  To have my social calendar full.  To be that perfect sort of busy.  The sort where I always have playdates on the horizon.  I want to be a friend to others. 

When Laura started day care, I made some huge strides towards becoming un-shy.  I left notes in the cubbies of a few moms.  "Let's have a playdate! Here's my email!"  To my surprise, I wasn't rejected, laughed at or ignored.  Indeed, these other moms were just as interested in being my friend, as I was in being theirs.

Lately, Laura has been talking about her friend at school.  She says he's her best friend.  I have met this friend's mom once, in the grocery store.  I knew her first name, and that she's not a "mutual friend" with anyone I know from day care on FB.  So my potential-friend stalking abilities were limited.  I kept meaning to leave a note in the friend's cubby, but also kept forgetting.  And who ever has a pen in her purse when she needs one, anyway?

Thursday was Back to School night.  The other mom was there.  I took a breath, un-shyed myself, and walked over.  We exchanged phone numbers, and are planning a playdate.  It wasn't hard at all.  At the same Back to School night, there was a new mom in Laura's class - a mom I hadn't seen before.  I introduced myself, and made a concerted effort to remember her name.

On Saturday, Nate and Laura were off camping in the wilderness of a Delaware State Park.  Gavin and I were home, with nothing planned.  I had an invitation to a party... where I would know only the host.  I decided to go!  Then I decided to stay home.  Then I decided I wanted pumpkin beer.  Then I decided it was ridiculous to drink pumpkin beer at home, alone.  So off we went.  And you know what?  We had fun.

The more I put myself out there to meet other people, the more fun I have.  I like this knew un-shy me.  I love the confidence that I feel rise up in my heart as I introduce myself and get involved.  Un-shy is a much better way to be.