Groceries

Mrs. MidAtlantic: Ok!  Let's get you plugged into the cart!  Ew, someone left their shopping list in that one.  We'll find a different one.  As if eighty-gazillion people have NOT touched this shopping-list-free cart.  Here we go!  Zoom!  Into the store!  Ok, so what do we need?  That's right!  Bananas!  Ooh, and some pears.  Mommy loves pears.  Those D'Anjou pears are looking particularly lovely right now.  No, you can't have Mommy's shopping list.  We don't eat paper.  Here.  You know what?  We can skip the produce aisle and come back to it.  Let's go straight to the deli for a snack.  Look!  Ham!  You love ham!  Oh, come on.  Please don't spit out the ham.  Do you want a graham cracker instead?  Ok.  That's better.

Random stranger: Hi there sweetie!  You're so cute!  How old is she? 

Mrs. MidAtlantic: Not quite one!  Say thank you, Laura.  Thank you!

Mrs. MidAtlantic: Ok, now where were we?  That's right.  We have to go back to the produce aisle now that you have your little snack.  We need something green.  Ooh!  Asparagus!  And you know what?  I'll just get the rest frozen.  That way it won't go bad if I forget about it.  Oh, but you do like sweet potatoes, so let's find a few good ones.  No, Laura.  Please don't grab the lemons.  C'mon.  We gotta keep moving!  Vroom! Vroom!  Let's head over to dairy!  We need milk, eggs, pie crust, cheese, and some more baby yogurt.  Which flavor of Yo Baby smells the least offensive?  We'll go with banana.  Yuck.  But I guess I'm glad you like it, right? 

Mrs. MidAtlantic: Uh oh... Oh come on, Laura.  Please don't lose it now!  We still have a few aisles to go, and we still need to get through check-out!  Oh lord.  Okay, we'll speed shop.  Have another cracker.

This was written from the Red Writing Hood prompt, "Dialogue," over at The Red Dress Club.  If you have been to the grocery store with a baby, you can completely understand the one-sided dialogue that occurs!