Last week was a hard week for me. I felt disgusting, thank you bacterial infection. I couldn't eat, thank you little baby. I was stressed with work, and stressed with the work that faced me at home. Laura and I were sick. Then the dog was sick. I wasn't very nice. I yelled at Nate and snapped at Laura and Ries. I wasn't very pleasant to be around.
This week was equally difficult. I still felt disgusting. I was still afraid of trying to plan dinner for all of us. But I wasn't nearly as mean. I was incredibly tired and sad, but not mean. I managed to get through each day and to complete each task.
The difference between last week and this? Honesty.
This week I was honest with myself and with Nate about my feelings. I told both of us that I'm having a hard time. I don't feel good. My stomach always hurts... and if it's not hurting I'm hungry and can't feed myself. This week I gave myself more leeway to make decisions. Laura and I ate mac and cheese, Stouffers, pasta. And while none of these were great dinners, they were all quickly and easily prepared with little thought.
Because honestly? I need to make things easier for myself. I'm having a hard time getting simple things done. Difficult tasks just aren't worth it. I know I'll be feeling better again soon. I just need to be honest that right now really sucks. Right now I'm really tired. Right now I'm really weepy. Now that I've admitted that to myself, I can move on.