I must have read half a dozen posts this week written by moms feeling like they aren't good enough. I blame the full moon: it has all of our children acting like crazy people. Perhaps also there is some planet in retrograde, thereby lowering our ability as moms to value ourselves. Otherwise, why would so many moms have written post after post, wondering about their ability to parent?
We are good enough.
I have these feelings, too, sometimes. These negative, terrible feelings of Mom Fail. For a while, everything goes smoothly. My kid is the cutest, smartest, and best behaved kid EVERRR! Wee! Then, as sudden as the tides, my child grates on every last nerve I have, until I'm reduced to a sniffling mess of emotions and negativity. Surely my child's bad mood and behavior are some failing on my part.
They are not. I am a good mom. So are you.
Last night, I made a conscious choice to make my time at home with Laura meaningful and fun. Instead of nagging Laura to stay of the stairs for the love!, I sort of just let her play. Amazingly, she spent very little time on or near the stairs. When she started to whine about some toy she couldn't open, I asked her to take a breath and ask for help. She did and was able to resolve her frustration on her own. We had fun together last night. I felt relaxed and empowered.
This morning was a little more difficult. Laura didn't want to go to school for some reason, and her tears began to pull at my heart-strings. "Mommy werkin' ta-day?" Yes, Mommy has to go to work today. "No, Mommy! Waura's Mommy stay home." No, Mommy has to go to work, and you have to go to school. "No skew-well! My mommy my house!"
My heart cried with her for a moment or two. I would have loved to have stayed at home with Laura today. Truly! In that moment, I realized that Laura's tears were wet, salty proof of my good parenting.
My daughter loves me.
I am doing a good job.
She wants to be with me.
I want to be with her.
I am good enough. So are you.