Wherein my body hurts and I suck at Twitter

At several points over the holiday weekend I thought to myself, "I should be tweeting this.  This is insane.  I should be tweeting."

But I didn't.  Because I suck at twitter.  But here are some highlights of the weekend in non-tweeted form:

1) RV ride to Tennessee, an open-container state.  And we decided that since the open-container state was our destination, we could drink the whole way down.
2) Laura slept almost the whole way down!
3) Arrived with the sunrise Thanksgiving morning.  Hot coffee waiting for us.
4) Turkeys tossed on the smoker at 10am.
5) Family football game.  I watched from the sidelines.  I don't *DO* balls.
6) Dinner.  Three tables.  Thirty people.  Four turkeys.  One ham.
7) Nashville zoo!  Most of the animals were hiding, since it was so cold, but the Jungle Gym was worth the price of admission.
8) Pre-gaming (like college kids) before getting on a party bus into Nashville.
9) Party bus.  Lighted floor.  Revolving stripper poles.  OMG.
10) Drive-by of Opryland to see the lights - gorgeous!
11) Did I mention stripper poles?  Revolving stripper poles?
12) Bar #1: mechanical bull.  Yes.  I rode.
13) Bar #2: live music.  We danced on stage.
14) Bar #3: I'm getting tired. 
15) Back home: the babysitters have hot pizza waiting for us!  Best sitters ever!
16) OMG everything hurts.  Why are there bruises all over my legs?  What happened last night??
17) Oh yeah.  Stripper poles and mechanical bull.  Mystery solved.
18) Starting to pack up for the long ride home.
19) In-laws really beginning to grate on my nerves.
20) Crying in the bathroom.
21) Well-timed trip to Sonic for burgers and limeades.  My first ever Sonic trip!  And I have never needed a fast-food break so badly.
22) RV ready to go.  Except two in-laws refuse to stop watching a stupid football game to leave.
23) Fight ensues.
24) Laura, sister-in-law and I hide on RV
25) Remainder of family carries hold-outs onto RV.
26) RV finally on the road.
27) Arrive home at 7am.
28) I still hurt.

If I had actually been tweeting, I am sure there would have been tons more updates, in a much wittier fashion.  But since I'm exhausted and back at work, this is the best I can do.  You wouldn't believe the bruises.  But also?  That stripper pole was the best workout I have gotten in years.  I think I need one.